A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I always argue because he's not good at scheduling. He's often late or leaves early on our dates because of his friends. I find it disrespectful that he "ditches" me because of his friends even though we already had plans. Because of this we argued again a few days ago. He tried apologizing and texting sweet things to me as usual but I wouldn't accept them this time. So we haven't spoken in about three days. I suppose it's immature but I don't want to give in to him again. Why do I always have to lose? So my question is, does there need to be a clean breakup for things to be over? Are we still together, just not speaking? I still like him so I don't have the heart to end things with him. But if this is a breakup to him then I can accept it. It's just how I feel. I've been feeling more lighthearted and less burdened these days. Do I not talk to him until if he talks to me? And if he doesn't then we're over which I'm prepared for.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2012): Thank you everyone! He contacted me last night asking why I haven't contacted him all weekend. I said that I was the one who sent the last text message and he said but I ignored the many texts he had sent that day except for the last few. Anyway he apologized today and we made up. For now. We'll see how it goes. I would've loved for us to work out but I'm feeling distant now. He was so happy to see me today and I hope it's genuine. I like him but if he makes one more mistake then I'm out.
A
male
reader, slipper164 +, writes (25 June 2012):
Anonymous Good Morning
Let me tell you a little secert young lady, if your so called boyfriend ditches you for his friends a couple of things might be going on here. Maybe he is using you just for sex thats not a bad thing if you are ok with that. I know you said you liked him, but why would you stay with a guy that keeps ditching you for his friends,or Maybe you not interesting enough for him. I could be way off base with my assumptions. It's obvious you feel bad enough to write about whats going on with you and him. Do you want to feel better dump him and get a boyfriend that ditches his friends to hang with you.
William Tell
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 June 2012):
 If you are prepared to accept it's over , then so be it, do not contact him, as you say , what have you got to lose. If he is willing of his own initiative to explain / apologize / commit to change, you can hear him out then decide. Otherwise, wait, say, one more week then colour him gone.
Which, IMO , you should do regardless. IF he knows about how you feel being ditched last minute, and he keeps doing it, and you continue arguing over that ... for nothing to change, it's obvious it cannot work,- that's his way to say , without too many words, like it or lump it.
It's not a problem of not being good at scheduling and prioritizing, it's a problem of not wanting being good at scheduling and prioritazing. Maybe he's just not that into you and actually prefers staying with his friends ; or maybe , being so young, he still has not outgrown the pack mentality , he'd like to spend more time with you... but loyalty to the pack and obedience to its alpha dogs come first.
Either way, I don't think you 'd resolve the issue by keeping discussing it to death. He does not need to be Einstein to understand that routinely cancelling set plans is rude and disrespectful, and hurtful to a gf's feelings. I think he knows it perfectly, he just is not prepared to give you the place in his life that you feel you should have.
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A
male
reader, jay3532 +, writes (25 June 2012):
txt him and say you want to talk about how you feel when he just ditches you for his mates, then say if he keeps it up you will be ditching him.
please report here tell me how it goes
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