A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I haven't really been talking to each other at school, on the phone or anywhere actually. Should I be worried that our relationship is at it's boring stage? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (16 May 2011):
 how is your relationship going now? I was hoping things have improved for you by now?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2011): We all go through boring stages regardless of how exciting our lives are with our partner. I had what I though was the most boring husband. He was boring and our marriage was boring no matter how much I improved my life. After 5 years I realised I needed to just relax, enjoy and have fun leaving my boring husband behind. Abella gives amazing advice I would think more suited for an older age group as you are very young. No disrespect to Abella's advice as this is just my opinion. I would suggest you just go with the flow and have fun with my friends. There will be plenty of time for you to think more serious about your life. While you are having fun in your life you will meet someone more suited to you and you will not find yourself having to change to make your relationship less boring.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (6 February 2011):
a lack of independant useful interesting activities to talk about can lead to this problem.
To have things to talk about you have to do interesting things, interact with people (with parental approval and guidance to do so) and develop activities outside your existing range of activities.
You have the normal things you can talk about, but this becomes limited unless you include more of the above. Right now you have limited things to talk about. Only because you have been on this earth less than 20 years. So what you talk about encompasses:
Your hopes, dreams, values, attitudes, your beliefs. What's been happening to you. Any activities you saw, were told about, watched or participated in. Who's you've been interacting with and where and how. What you've been doing, when not with him. And he has his own set of all the above aspects. Then all the above is broken down into :
1. You
2. your family dynamics -
3. Your friends and relationships therein.
4. school and you and people at school
5. You and your guy.
6. Gossip and other people - this topic will get you in too much trouble. leave gossip for dumb people to talk about.
7. Career hopes and any work you already do.
8.sport and any hobbies
9. Your community
11.miscellaneous:
music /celebrities/internet/ television/pe
So those 11 broad categories are not enough. You need more activities.
Ask your family if, together, you could offer to walk neighbors dogs in a local park for a 30 minute period on leads. Only take on dogs that have been to obedience school and are not too large nor aggressive. You could charge a small fee, to add to your pocket money. You could do this together, to ensure your safety in case any dog was badly behaved.
And if you each have a relative older than 60 go visit them, with a notebook, and each of you start asking questions of them, and start researching your family tree. Get the some tips by visiting the great free sites. Currently you should easily be able to get back to 1600s with your research. You could also build it into a school project. You'll enjoy discussing your successes. Once again it's a project that could look good on your CV.
And it would give you each a shared interest as you each build your trees
If you do not have suitable relative you could ask your parents if there was another older lady who has done good work in the community where you could ask her about her life, and with her permission to take notes, then construct a story of her life and put it in the school newsletter. It could even help you develop careers as journalists in the future.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (6 February 2011):
Hi there. It's probably a case of familiarity breeds contempt.
In a manner of speaking of course.
What I mean by this, is you see each other practically every hour or so throughout your day, so beyond the "hello" stage at the beginning of the day, plus you are in some of each other's classes together, it gets to the point where there's nothing left to talk about.
It's not so much a case of being bored, just a shortage of subject matter. That's about it.
If you think about it, you will know what I mean.
If for instance, you were at 2 different schools, you wouldn't be bumping into each other throughout your day, so you would be speaking to each other via a text message or a phone call - after school. And because you weren't constantly bumping into each other throughout the day, you would have things to talk about.
Being at the same school, you are going to inevitably see each other many times in your average day. Sometimes in the very same class!
There's practically no way you can avoid each other entirely.
Perhaps during your day, just say hi the first time you see each other. But after that, just smile and say Hi, but leave it at that.
It's not absolutely necessary that you stop and have a conversation every single time you see each other. "Hi" and a smile will suffice during the day. Most times you see each other, you might not be in the same class, so you will be heading in opposite directions anyway.
Don't worry too much about it. It really is simply a case of running out of things to say to each other, because of seeing each other all the time - and nothing more.
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