A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have strong feelings for someone i met over two years ago and its clear we have strong feelings for each other. Although, we have never bee able to be together because of always having someone else and not wanting to hurt them by leaving them. He was with someone for a year and then i was. My first real boyfriend cheated on me, and completely broke my heart. No one ever expected it from him, he was very intelligent and one of the greatest guys i ever have met. Everyone agrees they never saw this coming. And now the guy i met two years ago is back with his ex. My question is do i wait and continue to move on from my ex or try to pursue this guy even though he is with his ex? For the record, the reason he left her is because she cheated and isnt a good person at all.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 January 2012):
 I think you are sort of rewriting history. If your mutual feelings had been so strong and clear, you'd had been together by now. You would have cared not that much ( or not at all ) about hurting your current ( and unfulfilling ) partner ; people in love are self centered :).
You kind of sniffed around each other, you kind of liked each other- but if he now is with this girl it's because he likes HER best , cheater or not.
Even if my theory were wrong, though, why making your life unnecessarily complicated ? Stay away from taken guys , follow the path of least resistence. With tons of singles there are around, why do you have to go and pick the one who's not available ?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2012): I had a situation like this with a man, but we always seemed to be with someone else. Whenever he was with someone else and I was single, I respected that he had a girlfriend and left it at that, he did the same when I had a boyfriend and he was single. Each time we did this, our respect for each other grew even stronger, at the end of 2010 we both were single, and we became closer and have been a couple for over a year now. The thing is that by respecting he had made his decision and chosen to be with someone else, and vice versa, we gained a lot more respect for each other, and now we are together and happy. If I had tried to steal him from his girlfriend he would have lost respect for me. So don't be the girl who tries to steal someone else's boyfriend no matter whether you think she is a bad gf or not, he chose to be with her, and it needs to run it's course. My advice is move on, if your meant to be together you will be, I know it sounds cliche, but it's true. You don't know what the future holds.
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A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (17 January 2012):
You wrote:
My question is do i wait and continue to move on from my ex or try to pursue this guy even though he is with his ex?
Don't pursue anyone who is involved with someone else. You interrupted the entire thought flow of your posting by inserting how your first real boyfriend cheated on you and how bad it was.
Do you really want to turn yourself into a man-stealer yourself?
You can't justify making a play for a taken man by saying how bad his girlfriend is. And if you pursue him while he is involved, you are trying to make a cheater out of him.
Bad judgment riddles your post. He has bad judgment, and you need better judgment yourself if you are even considering pursuing someone who is taken, no matter how bad you think the person you are taking him from is.
Move on from your ex no matter what.
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