A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my girlfriend have been going out for over a year and a half now and we still haven't had sex. We both love each other and we're both virgins. She is quite happy to perform sexual acts on me and she lets me go down on her, but when it comes to either fingering her or having sex she doesn't let me. WE have no passion in our relationship. I do but she doesn't and its getting annoying. She won't let me put my finger inside her, but she will let me rub her clitoris. And there's no chance of us having sex. We've nearly been there before but she keeps backing out. Help me. How can I get my girlfriend to let me do these things without hurting her? It would be much appreciated.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2008): Right..
My boyfriend and i have the same situation.
My boyfriend wants sex, i can tell, though he doesnt actually demand it. but ive made him understand that i am 2 years younger than him. We have done things but never actually had sex, though i do trust him and love him.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (27 January 2008):
 Many girls fear getting pregnant or she could have many inhibitions about sex. You need to respect her decisions and not ask her why.She may feel that she is not ready to give all to you or she could have reservations about your love.
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A
male
reader, jamey_37  +, writes (27 January 2008):
 Dude... You are a moron!
You having sex with her IS NOT YOUR DECISION!!! ...it's hers.
I'm gonna go ahead and say that there is no love in your relationship. Let me re-phrase that. There's love.. but it's only going one way: From her! You can tell she loves you because why she hasn't left a jerk like you that only tries to get into her pants is beyond me.
As for you, I say you lack the love in the relationship and only try to bring the "passion" as you called it. Let me clue you in on something.... Passion isn't just wild, hot sex. Passion is showing her that you love her, and you seem to be doing a pretty poor job at best.
If you loved her, you'd respect her and wouldn't even THINK about coming on here and asking for help to get your girlfriend to have sex with you!
Take it from me buddy..
I'm Jamie Williams..
And I'm here to prove to women single-handedly that not all guys are jerks that're just in it for action.
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A
female
reader, Mistify  +, writes (13 January 2008):
 Hi there
Although i understand how you feel about this, i have to say this:
If your girlfriend doesn't want sex at this point, or doesn't want to go any further than you guys are at the moment, then you should respect that about her.
Sit down with her, and discuss your feelings about this, but respect whatever the outcome will be.
If you really cannot hold out any longer, and she still is not prepared to put out, then maybe this isn't the right relationship for you.
Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2008): There are several new groups out that promote 'abstinence.' Don't rush her into something that she clearly isn't ready for. Each person makes their own choices regarding sex, but you shouldn't project your views on her. Enjoy the time you have together, and if it happens, great. If not, you have an awesome friend.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2008): from what I can see she's just frightened. for some people sex for the first time is SUCH a big deal. just keep on letting her know you love her, and she can trust you.maybe she doesnt want to have sex before marriage? have you asked her that?its not as if your relationship has no passion in it at all, you do a fair amount of things.be patient, it will all pay off.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2008): Don't push her into it! Mabey she isn't ready for that emotionaly or physicaly. Or prehaps she doesn't feel that she needs to do that to have a loving and supportive relationship with you. Talk to her about it. If you really loved her you wouldn't force her into it or expect her to want to.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2008): You cant "get" any woman to let you do things to her. She is an individual in her own right and will know when the time is right. If she is lacking in passion, and you find that there is no sexual chemistry between you, perhaps you need to talk about it. DONT put pressure on her, and dont say it in a threatening way. If your relationship is good, then in time things might move on. Maybe you need to find out why she doesnt want too - it could be religious views, trust, she might think you will leave her afterwards. You need to be upfront with each other and open about your feelings. Sex is important, but it is not everything in a relationship. Re-evaluate what you offer each other generally, and you will know the right thing to do
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