A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello. I'm twenty-five years of age, turning twenty-six in exactly two weeks and I'm still a virgin. In junior high and high school, I never wanted a boyfriend because I was focusing on my studies, but I did have a lot of guy friends. Plus, I grew up with four older brothers (no sisters), so I pride myself in knowing a lot about the ways of the man. Even more, my best friend growing up was a guy but he moved across the pond with his wife and two very young children.I came quite close to having sex, though, when I was a sophomore in college because I was with my first boyfriend then. We were together for a year and five months, but for some reason, we just never actually got to that point. I had a second boyfriend in college as well, but we dated for only ten months and he was mostly just the rebound guy following my first boyfriend. Needless to say, we never had sex, either.In graduate school, I had my third boyfriend and we dated for all four years of it. The only types of sex we didn't have were anal and vaginal (I have never done either one anyway). We broke up a little over a month ago but we still keep close contact. I am very much heart-broken right now, but I've never been one to be overly-emotional. I usually keep it all inside. For me, there just isn't a point to crying when it solves nothing.He and I broke up for the sole reason that he wants to get his PhD before marriage and I want to get married now. But I also told him that I am more than willing to wait until he gets his PhD (which is in a a year from now). But then he said that he kind of wants to sort out his feelings first and then get back together. I asked him why he's confused in the first place and he said he didn't know.He's not a cheater or a liar; I know him well enough to know that much. But I just want to know why we can't be together right now when I'm more than willing to wait for marriage until he finishes his PhD...? I only went onto my Master's degree which is the main reason we're still able to live together but I am paying most of the bills; he pays the half the rent and we split car insurance. When we were still together, the plan was to get him to his PhD first, settle down for a couple years while he gets his career settled, I would then get my PhD, and then we would get married.Honestly, though, I've never felt this way about any man before. I was going to give him my virginity the night of our wedding considering I had waited this long, I might as well wait a couple more years, ya know?I just need help assessing all this. Thanks!
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best friend, broke up, get back together, liar, still a virgin, vagina, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2009): Everything AngellicaWaters said was right but to add my opinion, I would recommend saying that exact speech to him. It will put things much more into perspective for him and he may be able to realize how he feels about you(if he feels that way) and finally commit.
Knowing that someone isn't going to wait forever on you will go a long way for helping you make up your mind
Hope I could help
A
female
reader, AngellicaWaters +, writes (16 July 2009):
 If you have been with this man a long time and he isn't ready to commit or set a date to do so, then as hard as it is for you to hear and accept, he just isn't as interested as you are. You have to make decisions that are best for you and that means not waiting for him. You may love him, but he doesn't love you enough to marry you right now or give you a committment towards marriage at a predetermined future date and that is what you are looking for. If you two are supposed to be together, he will change his mind before it's too late. In the meantime you have something very important to do, move on with your life and don't postphone a thing for him without a concrete committment. You deserve better than someone who isn't sure about you. When and if he is sure, then he will deserve you. Relationships, nor marriages should not be built upon uncertainty.
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A
male
reader, Jason32477 +, writes (15 July 2009):
 Well something is obviously troubling him that he is not comfortable talking about.I would not worry to much about it.And I don`t think he is going to come back to you.I may be wrong and it cant hurt to take the time to find out.But be prepared for the worst.
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