A
female
age
30-35,
*itchy91
writes:Hey i turned 18 last month.Me and my bf have been together for 9months and hes 22 and has a secure well paid job.I live with my mum and sister but everything i have they pick at we dont get along what so ever and i spend majority of time in my room with my dog. I see my bf everyday and he stays round everynight.We both decided we want to move into together we are looking at buying a flat/apartment and rent another room out for extra money. Im at college and am currently looking for a job.I was just wondering does anybody think this is a good or bad idea? I tryed to give as much information as possible.I just think its the next stage. But does anybody think this is a big mistake??Please help x
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female
reader, old-spinstah +, writes (27 October 2009):
I think you are a bit young at present to get "married at the wallet" which is what you will be doing if you buy a property together. Since you are still at college it will be your partner who pays for most things (which starts cohabiting life on a very unequal footing.) You haven't really been going out for very long and if you do break up there may be a lot of financial hardship on your young shouldersI would advise you to stick it out at home at least until you have finished college. If your home life is really really miserable and you are desperate to get out, - may I suggest that you live together in a house share or a rented flat first before you start buying places together.You're 18 so you can make up your own mind but think long and hard about the financial and emotional impact on you if the relationship goes pear-shaped and you found yourself out on your ear.Good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009): http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5025_qa.html
It is a very bad idea. I could go on about why I think that is, but the article above does an excellent job of explaining it.
You are at an age where you want to strike out and gain your independence. You are doing that by arguing with your parents and not getting along.
Instead try to communicate better and build a better relationship with your family. State what your life plan is, what your goals are and ask for their help and assistance instead of pushing them away.
You and your boyfriend will be roommates and you will break up in a few months, and your relationship will not start out on the right foot. When you live together you are not committed, everyone always has one foot out the door.
Very immature idea....face it, if you were ready for a real relationship, you would be ready to commit for life.
At this stage in your life you simply aren't ready. So continue to live your life as a independent person on their own. Don't be half of a couple, be a whole person instead.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 October 2009):
It sounds like you're not all that sure yourself. More than anything, you need to be sure that you're ready and that you're sure this is what you want. Don't allow yourself to be pressurized. I worry that you're not completely finished with education, that you haven't got quite enough money yet and such. Living together really does cost A LOT of money. Are you sure that you can buy and rent. Remember that after the rent, you have to buy furniture, you have to pay for gas, electric, phone, water bills and such. suddenly you have commitments to a flat, so going out is far more difficult with friends. This really is a big commitment, and you need to be very sure that you have the finance. Because if you don't, you'll end up with nothing. Be sure you're ready to do this
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