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We have been together 3 years but my boyfriend wont meet my friends!

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 January 2013) 3 Answers - (Newest, 22 January 2013)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Me and my boyfriend have been going steady for 3 years now and it's been good until it comes to this: he won't meet any of my friends. He's hung out with me and my siblings a few times but the last time he almost got in a fight with my brother. Since then i made sure that nothing like that has ever happened. Now my friends have been wanting to meet him even my coworkers but he just won't. Before he used to say no but now he'll just stay quiet or avoid the topic. It seems like he's avoiding my friends and coworkers deliberately even to the point when he comes to see me at work, he would avoid being noticed until he finds me. I have been told before that because his zodiac sign is a cancer and he is asian it might have something to do with the issue but i do not believe in that. I tried talking to him about it and again he avoids it by either changing the subject or by saying that he doesn't know them. I've even tried getting him to meet some of my friends on my birthday by throwing an ice skating pre party and he flaked out and only showed up for my birthday dinner. Please help.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2013):

I totally understand yur situation. My bf also doesn't get along well with my friends :/ whenever we hang out or anything he gets into a fight with my bestfriend.. The best thing to do is keep him way from them no problem fr you no problem for them!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2013):

I had a similar problem when I dated a guy from El Salvador .

I ran into some friends at the mall and he completely walked away and left me.

I thought that maybe he felt insecure because he was Latino. But I also think he was jealous because of this. He had an inferiority complex which made him act out like this. I felt bad for him because He didn't need to feel this way no one was judging him but it got worse and worse until he was controlling me and telling me who I could and could not speak to. I had enough and dumped him.

So maybe your boyfriend is feeling this way and I don't want it to get worse for you heaven forbid you get married and he becomes a control freak. So I suggest you fix the problem now and find out if this is the reason or not.

If it is I suggest like the above user that you maybe just bring one friend at a time to meet him take baby steps let him feel comfortable. If this doesn't work counseling but if he doesn't change you need to think of what makes you happy. You deserve to have a happy social life and he should be apart of that. good luck :)

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A female reader, lmao1989 United Kingdom +, writes (22 January 2013):

lmao1989 agony auntWell you haven't mentioned why he got into a fight with your brother or nearly got into one.

Perhaps he does feel singled out because he's Asian maybe he feels that's why your brother lashed out because he's different (he maybe paranoid)and if your brother reacted like that then he maybe be scared into thinking your friends may react similarly to what your brother did i mean if your family member started on him whose to say friends won't as well.

The fight probably put him all out of sync and afraid of peoples reactions. I'm not saying this star sign business is true because i far from believe in those things but if he is a different race and your brother reacted towards him for no apparent reason he maybe automatically think because i'm different.

Try talking to him and perhaps suggest meeting your friends say one by one to start maybe if he meets your closest friend first he'll feel more comfortable but go out with that one friend a few times so he is comfortable and then see how it goes from there maybe if he sees that you're closest friend is really nice and likes him he'll relax and want to start meeting more friends but again take it slowly.

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