A
female
age
30-35,
*lexis**
writes:im thinking about going back with my ex bf, but he seems different then before...he's jealous. i have a best guy friend, and when ever i say hi to him my ex gets quiet and he asks if do i like my friend, or just makes the face.we have ben on and off for a little more then a year. while we had broke up for a few months (the longest ever) i had talked2 another guy and my ex yelled at him telling him all this mean stuff.he told my best friend (not guy friend)that he misses me and he will treat me right this time and he even was tear eyed, which is opposite of his personality.his bestfriend is going to jail for manslaughter, and im wondering if thats why he is getting into fights, he used to be so calm.so should i get back w/ my ex, or not again? isnt jealousy a sign of love?
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female
reader, alexis** +, writes (14 February 2010):
alexis** is verified as being by the original poster of the question thankyou.i realized my ex's new jealousy wasnt his way2 show me his love.
a friend of ours (mostly mine) died last week, &i was telling my ex how i felt bad about the way I'd ben treating him (b/c he was the one telling my ex i had ben cheating on him, &so i stopped talking2 him). it was the morning before his funeral, and my ex told me well maybe your the reason he hung himself. i thought he was joking (which isnt o.k. either way) but he wasnt...he kept repeating it.
later on he said he was sorry& tried2 act like everything was allright between the 2 of us. he acted like it was nothing& i would just forgive him. but i havent...i hate him still.
it took a hard thing, but now i know who loves me& who dont really.
thanks for your help
A
female
reader, Accountable  +, writes (3 February 2010):
 Sadly, jealousy is more a sign of a possessive and controlling personality than love.
Personally I think on/off relationships never work out - Ross and Rachel are nothing like real life. There is always a reason you break up; maybe a personality clash, or difference of opinion over something important. But people tend to get lonely, forget why they break up and assume theyre just meant to be with that other person, because its familiar. Then inevitably the same problems arise as the first time, unless some major change is made, and really you shouldnt have to change for someone!
If I were you I would leave him behind you and start looking for somebody else. Especially as you say he would treat you right "this time" - implying he's messed you around before? Forgiveness is a good thing, but forgiving him doesnt mean you have to take him back. Find somebody who loves you, and wouldnt mess you around in the first place. :) Good luck! xx
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A
female
reader, girl from bristol +, writes (3 February 2010):
yes jealousy is a sign of love and if he was teary eyed then i think he must love you so i think you should go to him again i dont know why he is getting in fights he could be because he is angry with himself and hurt at losing you
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2010): ok first...
jelousy is not always a sighn of jelousy, it can be sighns of ''stealing a lost possession of some sort''
almost like if you lost a ring and gave up on looking for it, then some one found it, you would definently not like that person and try to get the ring back, but you cant b/c it is no longer yours.
second...
i beleive that if some one changes, for better or for worse, it should be their duty to try not to show this emotional pressure thrugh anxt,envey,hatred but to sit down and to talk to a friend/relitive/counselor about this emotional conflict
third...
you have talked about how you may want to get back with this person, this may be your choice but, i recomend that you ether talk out you ex bf anxt or decid to find another more pleasing and appealing person than your emotionaly damaged ex
i am truly sorry for any miss spellings or typoes,
i am only 13 and still am working on typing,but should be taken serriouslly because i am gifted and am working on manny colledge funded programs
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