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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I need someones advice. I am 24yrs old and have been with the father of my child for 5 yrs. It has been a very long 5 yrs. At first it was all good then once i had my daughter it went down hill from there. We always have had major problems such as family cofrontations, ifidelity (from his part), trust issues. We're always arguing. Recently i had to move back in with my parents because of financial problems. He is upset because I wouldnt move in with him and his mom and I rather move in with my parents. I love him but its a new year. I want to start over fresh and our relationship hasnt been the best. What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008): Do you both still love each other? Do you both want this relationship to work? What family issues do you have and can the be resoolved. Have you managed to get over his cheating? Has he managed to get over his cheated? How can you sort out your financial situation? some questions to ask yourself.
It sounds to me like you both are under a huge ammount of stress and this is why you are arguing. You must have differing views on many aspects of your relationship together and as parents. You need a middle person to help sort out many of the issues and it will be hard to date again until some of these issues are sorted.
It also sounds like you both have just become parents and have forgotten why you feel inlove in the first place. You need alot of work. Why dont you try getting a self help book first which deals with ways of staying together. I also agree with the other aunts that counselling may be the next best thing.
A
female
reader, alymarshall  +, writes (8 January 2008):
 at the moment i think you both should be thinking of the child in this its not her fault and she needs both her parents near her second i think maybe you and him could go out get a babysitter and have a bit of adult time so you can talk and see where you both think your relationship is going hope this helps x x
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A
female
reader, CaliGurl  +, writes (8 January 2008):
Yes you are going to need counseling especially because of the trust issues that will likely always be there otherwise. He needs the counseling also if he wants to stay with you. Of course this is all assuming that you still love him and even want to continue the relationship. Perhaps it is a good idea that you two live apart for a short while as it will give you some much needed time to reflect on the relationship. You may realize that you miss him and truly do want to try and fix things, or you might find that you don't. Its up to you to figure out what you really want to do.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (8 January 2008):
 You should probably drag, DRAG him into counseling. Not once, NOT twice, but for at least 6 months of marriage counseling. If you have any intention of putting your marriage back together and sorting it all out, then you and he need an objective third party to help you sort this all out. Get a financial counsellor as well. If you are willing to forgive his infidelities, and he promises to be faithful, you are still young enough to turn this all around. Best of luck with everything, hope it all works out for you.
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