A
male
age
30-35,
*ollege Marc
writes:Im 22 and she's 19 we have a baby now and were doing just fine being together,we've also been together for more than a year.i loved her without a doubt before she kissed a guy when we were about a month together she said that it was a dare they were drinking with a group of friends.this is were it start to get a little complicated she never admitted that the kiss happened when we were together but her story had overpalping dateline that's how i found out and she said she was forced by her friends because if she didn't play along they would make up a story to me.we broke up because of this but she was already pregnant abd we got back together.should i have left?i know i forgave her but... is staying the right thing?did she cheat? I know we're young and im still studying this is my last semester and when i go out with friends and she gets angry start acting a wife's role we get into an argument i start to wonder if i still love her because of what happened.before i found out about the kiss i was fine with her being strict but now... i would also like to point out that she never confessed kissing someone but i notice after the night she did it there was a change in her for our relationship not knowing what she had done,she was 100percent commited it was almost perfect and when i found out the truth she doubled her efforts she stopped being friends with those people and commited herself to me and our baby but (there's always a but) that's what i feel ever since finding out.
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male
reader, College Marc +, writes (4 August 2013):
College Marc is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you really.
Dear wiseowie your saying it was ok?im not trying to escape my responsibilities to my child that im sure of. Kiss and sex are not the same yes your right.so that gives every individual to kiss anyone aslong as they dont have sex? She doesnt need my child support. I know part of me coming back to her was because when i found out what she did she was already 4 months pregnant.
Look at it from my side i was never a strict boyfriend like really loose because ive never been cheated on or ive cheated with someone and after knowing what she did i feel so betrayed so stupid.
A
male
reader, Dodds  +, writes (3 August 2013):
 Hey man, you're both young and at an age where this kind of stuff happens.
Just observe her actions towards you and the family. You say she is committed. Judge her based on her actions n not her or any one else's words.
And stop bringing up her mistakes when you're with her. You're the man in her life n she looks up to n gets her emotions from you.
If you continue with what you've been doing, you'll condition her to have negative emotions which she'll associate to you, and over time she'll start to resent you.
So I'd suggest you be the man in her life n appologise to her for coming down so hard on her coz trust me, she knows what you'll not tolerate!! Let it all go n never bring it up again, EVER..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2013): No relationship is perfect, and a kiss is not equal to having sex.
You can kiss your grandmother or your father. I think you have enough adult responsibilities that you should be acting like a man now. Enough about something as childish as jealousy over a kiss.
I'm certain the pregnancy wasn't planned, and being together is probably more for the sake of the child.
Man-up and just stop with this crap about a kiss. Are you looking for an excuse to bail out on your child? She can still chase you with child support; if you decide to play boyish games.
She is only 19 years old, and will make a few foolish mistakes. She ended up a mother before she was a full-grown woman. She probably hasn't finished her degree. Now she has two babies. One that is really a helpless child; the other a boyish man who is upset about a kiss that happened a long time ago.
You should be more concerned about completing your education, and being a good father. Forgive her for one silly mistake; and do the best you can to provide your child with a decent home, and stable environment.
You said she has been committed, gave up those friends.
What more is it going to take? She can't change the past.
Can you?
Can you reverse time and give her back her life to be a girl, without the responsibility of raising your child?
I think you really need to focus more on the future and decide if you are going to make this woman a wife, or if you're just going to help raise your child.
I already see you're making boyish excuses; so I foresee you wiggling your way out of your responsibility. There is always a "but"; because you're only looking for excuses to bail out of your responsibility. After getting someone pregnant.
I see through you.
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