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female
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anonymous
writes: Me and my boyfriend just tried to have intercourse for the first time tonight. Technically I am still a virgin. He is not. We couldn't. Not for lack of wanting to, but because it hurt so bad I had to make him stop. Now I get a burning sensation when I go to the washroom. What's the matter with me??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2007): intercourse can hurt for your first time, more so if its not his first. im still a virgin and scared if it will hurt to? but i found out that it may hurt because your unterus hole is not wide enough which causes friction. so there nothing wrong. i have many friends who have had intercourse and have told that it hurt them so there no need to worrie xxx lucy
A
reader, wwww.datinghaven.com +, writes (19 September 2005):
It may not be because of your first time...but he might have given you an infection!
When females lose their virginity its common for them to feel sour down below or ache for a while after and this can continue when having sex again and again due to being too tight, the penis too big or lack of lubrication etc.
A 'burning sensation' sounds to me like an STI/STD, you need to get it checked out soon, most can be cured via prescriptions, but the longer you leave it could leave you unable to have children.
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A
female
reader, Delila +, writes (7 September 2005):
The burning is probably just from irritation caused to the delicate tissue of the vagina from not being luricated enough. I don't mean any offence to your boyfriend but just because he has done it before does not make him an expert. Some boys think that when they are hard if they lie on top of you and poke in the general diection of your vagina they will get a hit. This can be really sore though. If he gives you oral first it will mean you will be nice a moist and turned on too. It will also mean that your boyfriend will get a really good idea of where his penis is supposed to go. For your first time it would be nice if things went very, very slowly, lots of gentle petting first. You could help by becoming more familiar with your vagina before the next time you try so you can see what feel best. Use a mirror to self explore and then when you are ready to try intercouse again you can guide his penis into your vagina gently. Bev Connollys' suggestions were also excellent.
ENJOY!
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reader, pops +, writes (29 August 2005):
You might trying being on top, and lowering yourself onto his erection. This will allow you to control the speed, and depth of penetration. It also allows you to say when, and be sure that you are relaxes enough, and moist enough to allow penetration. If its still painful, see your doctor. Rarely, but it happens, some women have very thick Hymens, and need help from their doctors to break or cut this. It will not hurt much other than the ache you get from any small cut on your finger, say. It tells you its there, but you can generally go about using your finger normally. Same goes with your vagina after losing the hymen. Do give yourself time to heal between sex acts, but usually, a couple of days, at most, is all that is needed. You should expect to need foreplay to loosen you up and get you lubricated for some time, before you will be comfortable having sex without foreplay or lube. It takes practice to train your body to do any physical activity, and sex is no different. If you abstain from sex for any great length of time, you should expect to have to retrain a little before you are back in the swing of things.
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (29 August 2005):
 Some discomfort is perfectly normal when you have sex for the first time. It may even hurt enough to make you want to stop.
So, in that respect, I don't think there's anything wrong with you. First-time sex for women can be... well, a bit of a let-down, to be honest. However, it does get progressively better! The burning sensation may just be residual soreness, which can happen when you have "dry" sex with someone. If it doesn't go away in a couple of days, do talk to your doctor about it.
A few things that you and your boyfriend need to work on:
1. Contraception. You have condoms, right? No balloon, no party. No exceptions!
2. Your boyfriend may have been a little too quick to get straight to penetration. Ask him to hold off a while longer next time. You deserve to be feeling completely ready for penetrative sex, and that means he should wait until you say "yes, please!", not "I guess so". Have lots of foreplay. Oral sex is excellent. Repeat: lots of foreplay, until you're really ready.
3. Get some water-based lube. There are a lot of varieties available these days. Where I live, it's for sale at the supermarket, right next to the aspirin, sticking plasters and the condoms. Try putting a small amount of lube around the entrance to your vagina, and on the tip of your partner's penis. Makes an enormous difference for those times when you're nervous and a little dry.
4. You know what to expect now, so don't be too worried. Make sure that your boyfriend goes slowly and is ready to pull out if it gets really uncomfortable. But also consider that, if you don't get past the initial discomfort, it never starts to feel good, so you might have to be a little patient with yourself.
Take care, have fun!
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