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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have a relationship with my boyfriend for 8 years now. Six years ago, I met a guy in another country of whom I found out he also really liked me a lot. We did not speak about these feelings when we saw each other. We chatted and e-mailed the last 6 years off and on. Now suddenly I really feel I love him, want to be with him. He told me he would really like to see me and thinks these feelings will come back to him when we see each other. He still often thinks about me. But we live 10,000 miles apart. What to do? Give up everything? Or should I try to forget? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (30 August 2005):
 What do you feel for your boyfriend exactly? What would you be giving up in order to be with someone else?
These questions you need to ask yourself.
It would be highly risky to 'follow your heart' on this one. It is very difficult to develop a relationship by computer alone. You feel you love him but is he so sure as you?
If you were single, perhaps it would be different and even then you would need to be cautious.
What you are doing and what you have been doing for the last six years hasn't been at all fair on your partner. Does he even know you have been in contact with another man? How would you feel if you knew he was doing the same to you?
You need to reassess the situation carefully. Do you want to stay with your boyfriend and work on any problems you have or do you feel you need to move on? You can't be fully committed to your partner when this is going on.
You need to make a decision and stick with it but even if you do decide that your relationship isn't worth saving (you shouldn't just stay with him for security reasons, if you are, that isn't fair on him) pursuing another man who you don't know very well, in terms of face to face, is a risky venture but has worked for some.
The choice is yours.
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