A
female
age
36-40,
*trawberry451
writes:My boyfriend and I broke up on Valentines Day after 15 months of dating because he told me he needed some time. After 3 days, we started dating again after having long discussions about what we would change in the relationship. Number one was communication and honesty.The day we got back together one of my best girl friends tells me that he cheated on me. I confronted him, and he denied it. We talked for 3.5 hours on the phone, and he pretty much convinced me that it wasn't true. There was even a Voice Mail on his phone from her, saying that she didn't know what was going on.He pretty much convinced me, and after 4 hours of crying I decided to ask him one more time. And he admitted to it. He kissed her five months ago and didn't tell me about it. He said it meant nothing to him and that he regrets it with all of his heart. He spent four hours convincing me that it didn't happen, and then he told me it was true. He said he cried himself to sleep over it and threw up numerous times because he felt so guilty lying to me.He says he will wait as long as I need, and he says that it was the biggest mistake of his life. I don't know what I am supposed to do. We were going to get married. We had so much trust in our relationship, or so I thought.
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male
reader, goodbutnotgifted +, writes (20 February 2007):
 no easy answer, he lied once and chances are he is lieing about the guilt. In fact I have guilt from cheating 15 years ago and when I decided to mary my wife of the past 5 years that was the first thing we discussed, I have never forgiven myself. he would have told you before it happened if he was decent. It is your choice and I can tell you from expeirence that lies are like rabbits you tell one and suddenly you have piles of em trying to cover one another. He sounds like he is trying to give you some metta-emotional breakdown as a reason for you to forgive him, so how are you going to feel when you have to dig the next one out? and How will he explain the guilt level if your living together and you know he hasnt been vomiting. Cheaters are comon these days, 5 in ten in fact and youve just found out too late, sorry.
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