A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hello... I need help. I am so confused! a day before valentines day my bf of 2.5years put me on a 2week break with no contact totaly out of the blue as I thought our relationship was going amazingly. I know 2weeks is nothing but i feel like i've been dumped and have been quite depressed for sometime. Im 19 and he's my first partner. I cant stop crying I miss him like crazy. he said that he has so much pressure from work and uni that he needs to go on a break but he also said that our relationship is just going around in circles and that its all the same. He says he doesnt want to have another gf he just wants time alone but im not sure thats true. He txt me on monday saying how was I and that he's ill with flu but i didnt txt him back cos of the break. but he came on msn today and talked to me but he's still quite distant with me. I txt him today afterwards just to see if he was ok and he txt back but after I txt him back again there has been no reply. Im constantly looking at my phone and msn and its driving me crazy... i wish he hadnt contacted me and i hadnt talked to him.I know its guna take time to get over him but I dont know wot to do. I want to talk to him about where this is going cos the future is so uncertain for me. I dont wanna talk to him about it cos I feel it will ruin everything. sorry this is long and complicated but i really needed to get this off my chest. if I could get some feedback that would help me so much xxx
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female
reader, cd206 +, writes (20 February 2007):
 Although it might seem impossible to someone who's not in the same situation I kind of get what your boyfriend is saying about the pressures of uni being too much. I'm in my final year and can't imagine having time for a boyfriend right now. He asked for spaceand he's messing you round by not giving it to you. As for not replying to your message maybe he's asleep or studying or ill or anything. If he contacts you again before the two weeks are over text him back and tell him however hard it is you're determined to keep away until he's had his space and worked out all the things that are bothering him. Take advantage of this time to work out what is wrong with your relationship. Do you think there's any truth in your boyfriend's comment about going round in circles? If there is how can you turn things around? If you spend this time working everything out in your head hopefully when he comes back to you you'll be in a strong position to defend your relationship and sort things out.
CD
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2007): Hi, Sorry don't know your name, and I'm just a visitor on this site when your email caught my eye. I am sorry to hear about your heartache. The way I see the whole situation is, that he is NOT worth it. Breaking up/getting dumped/wanting a break is never easy and to experience it the day before Valentines day must be pretty heartbreaking. I have cried when guys have hurt me and I have learnt that I now only give them one chance of doing it, then just show them the door. I'm ten years older than you, so I'm speaking from experience. Sadly.It's not worth crying over guys and the ones who deserve your tears will not hurt you! You must remember that you are an intelligent, beautiful and likeable person and has so much to look forward to in life. Cut the ties with your boyfriend. Instead of keep watching your mobile, do something exciting or just keep busy. Do things you always wanted to do (sign onto a dance class/join a gym, go out with friends, go shopping, anything to keep your mind occupied) and don't think about him. I know it is going to be very difficult to do, but you CAN do it. You are worth so much more than this. You are not a needy person and the moment you are taking control, you will feel so much better. I promise you. It's okay to feel sorry for yourself for tonight, cry as much as you want, punch your pillow but in the morning you are a new person. You don't need that guy, because one day pretty soon you will find someone so much more worthy of your love, trust and friendship.Good luck! A
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