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We had crazy sparks and now I haven't heard from him. What's up with that?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 August 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 7 August 2011)
A female United States age 41-50, *naloop writes:

My mom and his aunt tried to set me and the guy up. His aunt asked if he was willing to call me and he agreed. We started off with txt msging and the next day he asked me if he could call me, i agreed. We hit it off pretty well and spoke for an hour without knowing what the other looked like. He asked me if I could add him on facebook and I did. The next day he started flirting with me over txt msgs and after about 2 days of going back and forth over silly remarks he called me again on a Friday. I casually invited him to come out with us (my friend and I). He agreed to meeting up with us. When we finally met, there was crazy sparks. We were obviously more shy in person than over the phone or txt msgs. We did have a lot of chemistry and it was obvious that we both were attracted to each other. Well the night went well and we hung out for about 3 hours. The next day he txted me pictures he took of my friend and I. And that was it, I never heard from him again. it's been a week since we met and I can't stop thinking about him and am very confused as to why he won't pursue this further and give me a chance when we both know we had crazy chemistry and liked each other. The only thing I can think of is that he is not ready for a commitment and maybe the chemistry between us scared him off. BTW, he is 30 and I am 27.

View related questions: facebook, flirt, shy, spark

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2011):

If someone feels so much they will be drawn to that person in my opinion.yes there are reasons why people don't get in touch straight away but in my experience and opinion if the feelings that you felt were mutual and as strong as you say then you will see each other again I'm sure. Most men will pursue a woman they are very attracted to even if they have past issues its just part of a man's make up. Maybe I am generalsing but its true .

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A female reader, Denise32 United States +, writes (7 August 2011):

Denise32 agony auntYes, I don't think any harm will be done by getting in touch with him. However, I would phone him rather than try texting.

It is, of course, WAY too soon to be thinking of committment, incidentally! If you do get together again just enjoy the time spent together, and don't rush into anything!

One more observation: if he is busy (and he could well be) sometimes things come up that demand all his attention to the extent that he just has to deal with whatever it is (for instance, what if he got a letter from the IRS saying he owes them money?!) such things can preoccupy a person to the extent they can't even think about contacting friends! Nothing personal......

As for "if a guy is interested he WILL get in touch" - well, one would hope so, but people don't all act the same way. There could be many reasons a man - or a woman, for that matter, might hesitate to contact someone he/she is interested in. I don't believe its a good idea to generalize........

Anyway, good luck!

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A male reader, Daniel the love doctor United States +, writes (6 August 2011):

Daniel the love doctor agony auntI don't know if he has gone through a bad breakup recently, but if not, there may be some other things that you should consider. Like....

1. Maybe he is a bit scared. If he has been hurt in the past, he may feel things are moving too quick. So to avoid another heartache, the only logical thing (that he believes)for him to do is to just back off.

2. He's just busy. There could be things going on with him in his personal life, that you have to consider. There could be something that's taking up his time, has his focus, or he planning to work on.

3. He feels differently. Maybe after seeing you he re-considered how he felt. H may've not felt the sparks and/or just bonded with you more as a friend.

But in any event, you need to get in touch with him and find out what's going on. Communication is key. :^)

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A female reader, betty blue  United Kingdom +, writes (6 August 2011):

I have just been through something similar although we got up close and personal. All I can say is if a guy IS interested he will get in touch. If a guy gas any doubts he may need a bit of time . But in my experience if a guy is genuine and interested he will make contact someway or somehow. Good luck.and remember you CAN have that amazing chemistry with orders too . X

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