A
female
age
41-50,
*tMs27
writes:HiI met a the most wonderful person and we fell in love. We carried on a phone relationship for 3 and a half months before we met. I love him completely nad he doubts that now saying that i am different in person. We fight all the time and everything I now say is wrong. He has a high pressure job and has a lot to deal with emotionally, physically and financially. I don't want to lose him and I need to know how to get back to where we started without the constant fighting. He means the world to and we live in different provinces so this does not help either but I am looking for a job closer to him. Please help as I don't want to loose what we have.
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female
reader, sunrise  +, writes (9 July 2007):
 What is it you think you have? I'm sorry but a relationship that works well on the phone but disastrous in the flesh is not going to work, dont make that move as i think that now you've met he no longer feels the same and coming up with all these excuses for him is masking what truly is going on.
When you have a phone only relationship you build up an impression of someone but when you meet that person in the flesh it can be such a let down.
Please just walk away and keep yourself respect. I really dont think you are the person he hoped you'd be. i'm sorry to have to say that x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2007): You want to move to his province and arrange a new life although he's not sure you love him and says he's noticed differences in you - what do they consist of? The frequent quarrels are not a good sign, especially you don't yet live together. You should make sure firstly he wishes to continue this relationship and is willing to offer from his behalf also to make things work. I'd make sure I'm not fighting the battle alone before such "drastic" changes as another city and job. Have you discussed this with him - will he appreciate the effort? And when did the "constant fighting" begin, what causes lead to this tension? - the stressing job is not a sufficient reason, if you do wish to find a balance and not let these problems interfere with the personal life. Thus the question is does he wish to invest efforts into the relationship as well. I'd know that before I go further...
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