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female
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anonymous
writes: After one of many fights with my husband, I told him I wasn't sure I still wanted to continue with him. He said I could leave but I couldn't take our son. He would die for his son, he said. He threatened to kidnap our son abroad if he'd have to and then I panicked so bad, he started apologizing for what he had said. He started asking why? and what have I done to deserve this? and I don't understand?...He won't let me go and I am still with him but I feel highly uncomfortable especially after all those threats. He thinks we've made up although I don't understand how he can go so lightly over such a bad fight. I don't feel like we've made up, I don't feel like I love him at all anymore and I feel terribly sorry for him as he just "doesn't get why I'm not interested in sex".
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008): my husband and i have been married 3 years. he has become a hateful, mean, vulgar man - one that i surely didnt marry that way...now i am not attracted to him at all. he has had so many blow ups and has said and done so many hateful things to me and my children, that there is no getting over it or forgetting about it. i don't have any feelings for him anymore, dont want to have sex with him, and not even sure i would want him as a friend. i am seriously thinking of filing for divorce and moving on.
best of luck, and i know how you are feeling.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2007): I understand your plight. My husband threatened to take our son abroad if I could not get a long with his mother. He tried to apologize, but I just wouldn't hear it because it upset me terribly...I don't want him to touch me anymore either because of the threat. I am getting upset even while write this letter.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2007): If you feel you shouldn't continue your marriage being convinced you don't love him anymore, why should his threatening affect the decision? If he kidnapped his son and you proved that, a judge would give you a full custody, however I don't think he meant to say that and if he doesn't know himself he didn't meant it just make sure he does - tell him that in case you can't continue together, the child shouldn't suffer from the distance you impose to one another - a cordial relation should be kept for the sake of the child. You have to move on with your life if that is what you chose and don't let a threat become a problem. He wouldn't hurt his son if he loves him, and the child needs both of you and not to feel "split" between conflicts - that's why you have to settle a good agreement with him - he'll have to understand. One question - how did the fights appear, what led to them - if they became frequent in time it's explanable why you want to leave - accumulated tensions affect the feelings in time...
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