A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing a lady for several months now. We recently got into an heated argument, very rare for us. We didn't talk for several days and when we did we ended up starting a conversation that to me seemed like it was long overdue and very personal. But I was called away in the middle and despite my attempts to reach her, we never finished the conversation. Anyway we eventually started talking again and we met recently over lunch. Before she left, I told her "I wish we could forget about everything we argued about but I know we can't. Seems to me we began a conversation that maybe we should finish." Her response to me was simply to smile, accept my apologies (though I'm still convinced I wasn't at fault and had nothing to apologize for), say "let sleeping dogs lie" and reassure me that we are "OK." So....where does that leave us? Do I simply forget about everything we argued about? Simply forget about the argument and never bring it up again? It sounds GREAT to me. I just dont want to create one of those things where we never talk about something but it festers under the surface. What do you think? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Tomas +, writes (7 March 2009):
Loving arms is right, the relevant question is whether this is something that is going to continue to bother you or not. If not, then it is fine to let it go. But if you believe it will still be there nagging at you, then you owe it to both of you to say so, and get to a place where you are okay.
If you do need to discuss it, be understanding about the timing and circumstances of the discussion, within reason.
A
female
reader, loving arms  +, writes (7 March 2009):
Can you let it go or do you think things need discussing? You and only you know how you work. Personally i store hurts and issues that should be discussed. And yes they eventually surface, sometimes years later. If you feel things need finishing, to allow you both to move on, tell her how you feel. Or you could just tell her that if at any time she feels she wants to talk you are happy to listen and discuss things, but if she can really move past it, then you're ok with that too.
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