A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidI am with my bf for 3 years, we had our ups and downs. Currently i live 3 hours drive from him cause of work, will be going back in max 6 months.A month back we went for a weekend trip, it was a diaster as he was hanging out in bar most of the time, we had fight, came back.Everything went back to normal, but only exception is he is avoiding having sex with me, i asked him wats the problem, says he was angry abt what happened on trip and i acted like a nymph iver there and he doesnt want to have sex with me, its humiliating that i need to beg someone to sleep with me, its been 1 month, he still hasnt even touched me. What should i do now, i feel disgusting and dirty and so low for begging him. Pls help me Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit  +, writes (1 September 2013):
 Why do you stay?
This guy sounds selfish, mean and controlling.
What he's doing to you is emotional abuse and it's working, you're saying you feel low, dirty and disgusting. There's no reason he should make you feel this way. You've done nothing wrong!
No-one should ever have to beg to be loved or for intimacy.
This relationship is destructive and slowly eating away at you.
Move on with what dignity you have, you deserve better, please believe that.
Find someone who makes you feel like the most special woman in the world and in turn make him feel like a prince.
It's out there but you'll never have it while you stay with this waster.
Be brave, I'm thinking of you AB x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2013): If he is acting like this and so unsupportive when you guys are on long distance at the moment, imagine what it's going to be like a few years down the road on even more important issues?
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A
female
reader, ModelCitizen +, writes (1 September 2013):
I think you are the person who posted a while back about this, saying that on your couples trip your boyfriend ditched you to sit at the bar and got mad at you because you asked him to spend more time with you. Am I right? If so I really think you are better off without him. If he thinks there's something wrong with a girlfriend wanting to spend time alone with her boyfriend and have sex with him, then he has bigger issues than you can fix on your own I'm afraid. YOU are the normal one here, you did nothing but expect the type of trip most couples go on - one filled with quality time and affection. Please don't let this guy make you feel bad or that you have to beg him. Move on and find someone who wants a real relationship with you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2013): It is difficult to quantify the level of frustration caused by your fight with him and unfortunately this somehow, plays a role. But with the info available i must just advise you that you should never follow a man or beg him too much for sex but you can attract him too much. Begging too much can be a turn off on its own. Conflicts can cause a man not to be momentarily attracted to you sexually more especially if it gets him into believing that you are a pain or a whiner...He probably just wants some space to really miss you but i must say that a month is a way too much for him to ignore you and he probably is simply withdrawn or he is getting it elsewhere and is using your conflict as an excuse. The best bet here is to give him space and act as if you don't care anymore and that is the root of attraction for men, acting as if you are okay or you don't care. If he doesn't come back then he has other resources elsewhere and not worthy your try for any longer.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (1 September 2013):
 Some men get really hung up on how a woman acts or dresses when she is out, even though women are entitled to act and dress however they wish. He obviously saw something in you that night which he didn't like and now he is punishing you...even though you don't know what for.
I'd say the relationship has hit a stalemate. You cannot move him...and he doesn't want to be moved. He probably wants time to think things over and see what he's going to do, but you have just as much of a say in what YOU choose to do...and if you think he is being unreasonable or treating you badly then you either need to state your case, or leave him.
Maybe some time apart would be good at this time. That way, he gets thinking time but he cannot just use you for emotional support whilst he's working out his issues!!
He cannot just pick and choose which parts he chooses to have...either it's a full relationship, or it's over!!
Do not beg, because you will just add fuel to his complaint and give him more power.
Tell him if it's not going to be the full deal, then you also need time apart to consider what you want to do as it's not really fair how he's treating you.
If you did do something that weekend that was out of character, he either accepts your apology and returns to normal or he doesn't accept and the deal is done with!!
Sometimes you have to stand up to kooky behaviour.
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