A
female
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anonymous
writes:I've been out of the dating game for a while, (long term relationship) and the whole idea of dating scares me. Had date with what I thought was ideal guy (known each other for ages) we had few dates seemed great, then we took it a stage further now he says he doesnt want to date. I thought ok, then he sent explicit text and now he wants no strings sex (he last had sex 4yrs ago) what did I do wrong?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): You need to make a new guy wait as long as possible for sex. if he is a quality guy, he will enjoy just being in your company without sex...if you are speaking of sex as being the next level that you took it to after only a few dates, then you bought into the idea that you have to have sex after the third date.
You need to wait until deeper bonds and intimacy is achieved before ever considering having sex with a man, and ideally wait until he makes a commitment to you to be your boyfriend, an exclusive partnership, then you don't have to worry about what you did wrong.
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (18 September 2007):
 You did nothing wrong. You will if you give him the no stings sex. That's teaching him he can get the sex without any type of commitment. If that's not what you are looking for, it would be wrong to just give that to him.
Some people aren't commitment people. They like the sex, but don't like being tied down. Nothing you did makes that decision for him. He's just not what you're looking for.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2007): Heh. I've known my current girlfriend for almost five years, and we've been dating for two, and I still haven't had sex with her yet. Why not? Because she isn't ready! A good boyfriend wouldn't pressure you for sex, if you're not ready, or don't want it, it's as simple as that. If you're not comfortable about it, confront him, if he persists, ask yourself if he's worth it. If he isn't, than leave. It's very simple, but you're mind might try to mix it all up on you. Just try to keep a clear head!
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