A
female
age
51-59,
*atmarie
writes:Hello all,I wonder if you could throw some light on my situation. I have been seeing a nice guy for coming up to three months now. Anyway , we had quite a bad fall out four or five weeks back which was mostly my doing, and now we have kind of got back together.He still seems a bit angry, and is a bit physically withdrawn affection wise Eg: sometimes in the morning when I try to hold his hand and cuddle him , I can feel him go tense and withdraw, and he won't or can't return my affection, but the interesting thing is is that since we have got back together,the sex is now out of this world.. really intense, and passionate where as before it was just pleasant and ok. I feel that he is being cautious, or has cut off emotionally, and he is still a bit snappy. What I don;t understand is why he still keeps coming over when I ask him?I usually contact him, and he always responds. Surely he is just hurting himself? Will it over go back to normal? as it is not much fun at the moment, but neither he nor I can let it go. I really really love this guy, but am not sure it is going anywhere now? but cannot give him up, as it is too painful, but it is also painful when he withdraws. Maybe he has fallen out of love with me, but if thats; the case - why everytime I call him does he come running? how do I handle this? I feel vunerable, and nervous. Thanks for your answers Nxx
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female
reader, natmarie +, writes (12 August 2010):
natmarie is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hi Lublyuya, Thanks for your answer. I think hs is stil hurt, but it has been going on for 5 weeks now, and I am getting tired. he only ever responds to my texts and phonecalls these days, and comes over when I invite him over. He has not made contact with me in the last two weeks. He just comes over when I ask him too, makes no real effort, and then turns his back on me when I try to touch him, and goes cold and withdrawn. I do not understand why he keeps coming back for more, as it is no fun anymore. I am not going to call him for now, as it is all one sided. The thing is , if/ when I do contact him , he will act all relieved, and come over, but if he doens;t really want me he should just dissapear out of my life, but it seems he cannot do that. I wish I had the strength to end it properley - as it seems he is never going to get back to normal. It seems he doens;t really even like me
A
female
reader, LublyuYa  +, writes (11 August 2010):
If your break up was for the most part caused by you, it is likely he was very hurt and is trying to keep his emotions in check for at least the first while of you getting back together - something that I think would be a common occurrence for this type of situation. Perhaps he was hurt emotionally more than you realize and doesn't want to be hurt again right away if you don't manage to work it out and break up again. Talk to him, and try to do something romantic and fun together, and maybe he'll loosen up and slowly open up to you again.
Good luck :)
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