A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for two years now. We always have had a great time together, I make him laugh and I thought that he might be the one. Lately however, I have been feeling this distance from him. Intitally it was just him not wanting to be close. He said it was "too hot to cuddle" or he really hates holding hands. Then he wouldn't say i love you unless i said it first. Sometimes now he doesnt even say it if i say it. He is really into my physically, but i dont want to be with him like that if he can't give me attention outside the bedroom. Finally, last night i asked him what was going, do his actions mean something that we need to discuss. I stated "I feel like you love me but you are not IN love with me anylonger." He didn't say anything for away, and then when i pushed him, he stated "that he doesn't know how he feels about me." He also stated that he didnt say anything because he thought he could fix it. I told him to think about how he feels for the rest of the week while he is alone, but i dont know what to do. Do i stay or should i leave? He has never been in a relationship this long and i know he doesnt know how to act all the time, but is this just the comfort stage of our relationship or is it over? I need an unbiased opinion.
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female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (10 November 2008):
 It will be hard for you but you need to get on with your life now. If he has second thoughts about breaking up (once his head is clear) then he'll be back. "If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were..."
~Eve~
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2008): Thank you both for your answers to my question!
I just thought i would give you the status on my question. We talked on weds and he stated he was still unsure how he felt. He also stated that he didnt feel that was fair to me, so we broke up!
Yeah i know, no one saw that one coming. I was doing ok, but now it has really hit me and i am lost. I know this is for the best right now (he needs to figure his stuff out) but it doesnt hurt any less. I just dont know what to do now. I am trying to keep busy but that only works so well. I know that he is probably ok, heck his job basically consists of him firting with nurses all day. I am sure he will have someone in no time to take his mind off thing; that is the thing that hurts the most!
What do you do now?
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A
female
reader, ggl777 +, writes (30 October 2008):
Hi there,
well my opinion is that if out of no where you start feeling like he is distant then he probaly is loosing interest or has found someone else.
He might not like you that much like he use to. If i was you i would give him some space. i wouldn't call him or text him, let him come to you. if he doesnt call your or contact you then he might not want to be in a relationship anymore.
And of coarse he is going to give you more attention in the bedroom since no guy would say no to that, but if you are getting hurt then i suggest you giving each other space..if he doesnt look like he wants to fix things he might not want to be with you anymore.
Ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years and he tells me he loves me and holds my hand everywhere we go and i just kno he loves me.. if you are unsure he loves you then he probably doesnt
hope this helped best of luck ;-)
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (30 October 2008):
It sounds to me as if your boyfriend has something on his mind and only time will solve it. You need to back off big time here and give him space to sort his head out. I would suggest you say to him that you'll back off a bit to let him think things through then let HIM initiate phone calls, texts meeting up etc.
There could be many reasons he feels the way he does. It could be that he feels the relationship is burned out, he could be stressed out at work or of course (and I know this would be awful for you) but he could have feelings or have met someone else. Whatever it is that's bothering him will come out in a matter of time. DON'T pressure him, just back off and let him come to YOU with the answer. You might like the resolution, you might not but eventually you WILL get an answer from him.
~Eve~
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