A
female
 
age
30-35,
*nalyticalMentalityOx
writes:I need some advice and please don't judge me or think I'm being conceited i just have no other way than to put this bluntly. You know how when you are out, you see those couples where they don't suit....Well, this guy who i get along with really great! He's funny and just pretty chill. But the thought of us together doesn't fit. We do not look right together as a couple at all!And what also gets in the way is i don't find myself attracted to his looks, he is quite geeky looking and nothing like my type (tall, got some muscles and rugged and manly)... So you can how the two diffrenciate yes?I don't know what to do he is such a great guy to hang out with and talk too, the conversation flows like water! But what gets in the way is how he looks and i think surely if i get a long this well, i should be able to put looks aside.. but i'm quite stuck up on looks, i'm not gonna lie. Any advice here?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2011): It depends just how much his looks bother you. Think of it this way--this may be someone you'll have to look at every day for the rest of your life. If that would make you uncomfortable, just be friends.Geeky looking isn't necessarily bad looking though, and after a few years he may grow out of the geeky looks. ;) Give it some time--if you end up finding yourself thinking about him all the time and can't stop it, you'll have your answer.
A
female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (1 May 2011):
 All I can tell you is that my best friend married a guy because of how great they looked together. Everyone they went people would say, wow look at them, what a beautiful couple.
Six years and a daughter later, she divorced his ass. Because they had nothing to say to each other. Well nothing nice anyway.
Look I am not going to lie to you, it is important to be attracted to a man you want to date, especially long term. But it is also true that the more you like someone for who they are as a person, the more attractive they can become to you. After while it is just them, ya know and you don't even think about looks anymore.
If you don't believe me, just ask any man who married a girl
just because she was too hot to pass up, and now can't stand her. The things you got with this guy are all the things that really matter in the long run.
But if you still can't see yourself with him, then don't worry about it. Another woman will surely snatch him up for the prize that he is soon enough.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2011): Yeah, just be friends. You're either attracted to someone or you're not. Guys are the same way...they know within the first few minutes if you are someone they can picture themselves with or not.
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A
female
reader, Molly0102  +, writes (1 May 2011):
I'm facing the same problem here. Many people would think that I'd date really good looking guys. But honestly speaking, where can you find a guy who has such chemistry with you? The last guy I dated was good looking but turned out to be a jerk. Maybe thinking about how beauty is only skin deep can help :) And maybe the more time you spend with him, the more you can see beyond just his physical appearances. Otherwise, you might wanna keep your options open and just chill with him as a friend if you think it's too much of an emotional investment.
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