A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why is it when sometimes i go on a night out, i want to meet good looking guys and be close with them. But when i do get close, this feeling kicks in for me to get away. Which is odd? Because before when i see that guy or i am just talking to him, i'm fine with the knowing that they will get intimate during the night because I am attracted to them, just like they are with me and i sort of want to.I don't mean like sleeping together, i'm not that girl who hooks up with a guy she just met. What i mean by intimate is when they start putting their hands on my waist and just anywhere on me. Or even more so when it gets to the moment where you're talking and they are getting closer and closer and you know you're near that moment where a kiss is going to happen.... Well, what i do is i end up worrying and then try and move back a bit and talk or something to stop the kiss from happening. And i'll think they are some creep for doing that, even though i led them on? Then after I've got away from them, i think why did i do that!?I've kissed people before so that doesn't worry me.. i just don't understand why when i want to have a guy to flirt with, hold me close and maybe kiss me.. But then when it happens i freak out!?!?!?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2011): Because you aren't building a bond, connection, or intimacy when you give guys you don't know access to your body. It's your instincts telling you that you are looking for closeness in all the wrong places with the wrong people. When a guy cares about you he will get to know you and date you and you will feel more comfortable. These other guys are just getting for free something they haven't earned.
A
female
reader, GeeGee255  +, writes (1 May 2011):
 It could be many things. Maybe your instincts are telling you these guys are not as good as they may seem on the surface and you should listen to your gut.
Or maybe you are nervous because you are somewhat inexperienced and afraid of not being a good kisser or are afraid that they may want more than you are ready to give? Were you taught by your parents (or church) that "good girls" don't do that???
Or is it possible that something happened to you when you were a little girl that taught you not to trust men? Ask your mom if nothing else rings a bell with you. How is your relationship with your dad? Was he around while you were growing up? Was he a good husband? A good dad?
No one here can answer these questions for you. You have to look deep inside yourself for the answer. Then fix it, or at least come to terms inorder to move on in your dating life.
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