A
female
age
51-59,
*ebabebabe
writes:HelloI have been in and out of a relationship with someone for over four years now. we fight and then we breakup and sometimes its a really bad breakup and then months go by and we will get back together. this has happened so many times now i cant even remember how many. we are just meant to be together or what makes us do it? i am very attracted to him and we have a great time together. sometimes the fights are so bad i know its the last time. and then next thing you know we are back to talking. i have never been like this with anyone else. does this pattern mean there is something very basic that attracts us to one another or what is it? why do we keep go back to it? thanks !
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2008): Hi
Sometimes we exspect only hearts and flowers and this is bonkers. Part of a good relationship is working through and forgiving each other our human mistakes. My parents fought like crazy and golden wedding time fifty years on they still do but they actually do love each other dearly. The passion the fire better than bnoring!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2008): Your problem is one that puzzled me for a long time. After three years of the on again off again thing, I finally admitted to myself. It's over everytime he leaves. We would enjoy each other for a couple months. He would change his mind and stay away for a couple months, come back on the scene just as I began to lose the pain. The minute he walked in it was as if he had never left. Only to have the same thing happen again and again. I finally realized that I had an addiction. I was addicted to the way he made me feel about myself. The bad part was he never meant to make it last. Tell yourself I'm Better than he is, and keep away from him.
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A
female
reader, daniellexxxx  +, writes (23 October 2008):
 You didn't say whether your in love with him.
I have the same relation ship but we get back together in a matter of days we have really bad fights and one of us always ends up getting hurt. We are working through things we now have relation ship counciling and to me it seems to be helping alot as we have not fighted for the last 2 month and stayed good. When one of you seems to be in a bad mood and starts to snap go in a another room to give eachother a bit of space, also if your are together all the time go out have some time to your selfs it works haveing space is a good thing in a relationship,
Have you being away with eachother for a weekend somewhere romantic that makes things better apreciating eachother,
Good luck x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2008): hi hun ,
ive been in one of those relationships,
i found that the only reason we kept getting back together was because of that basic attractin, the one we had when we first met,
and when we got back together after the argument, it was amazing we were so loved up, then soon after was another break up ,
we both realised at one point that (as the other poster wrote)we were infact bringing out the worst in each other, and it did make us still feel desireable, but also as it was routine, we knew what was goin to happen each time, as much as we said we wouldnt, and as rocky as the relationship was, it still felt safe and secure as when we were apart, we wanted what we cant have,,,
it is a very vicious circle to be in , and as you said yo uhave had some really bad breakups , this is not a good relationship to be in as it could soon get violent,
if you do really belive that you love each other , then try counselling or somthing like that to find out why you both argue so much .....it could set a solid foundation for a future.
but if not then you both need to move on....
you may be happy when your together ,but it must be painful when you arent , is it really worth this much unhappiness for a small bit of happiness?
think about what you both really want hunny ....and do whats best for yourself before you do whats best for both of you , it may sound selfish, but unfortunatly its hte only way .............xxx good luck xx
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (23 October 2008):
 I believe that ceratin people bring out the worst in someone. Ive had 2 agrgumentative relationships, but more non argumentative ones. I think clash of personalities causes it. And I also think you could need the reassurance that you're still wanted and are addicted to each other.
Addictive relationships aren't always healthy. Google addictive relationships.
C xxxxx
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