A
male
age
36-40,
*creen name
writes:Hi I have been going out with my girl for 1 and a half years already. we have had a lot of problems in the past because of me. In the beginning i did not care about her and did not pay much attention to her. She used to go crazy about me. after she found out that i had cheated on her she was really upset, but i did not worry because i knew she was not gonna break up with me. After awhile i started liking her a lot and now im even in love with her. We hang out a lot now not like before once a week.Now that I'm close with her we have a lot of problems. We are always fighting. And i start all the fights because she does not understand me. but there is no way to talk to her cuz she's always getting upset. and when she gets upset she does not listen to me and so we get into fights. she is really in love with me but recently she has been hanging out with her friends a lot and now she's even asking me for a break.I do not want a break because i think that its gonna set us apart. and that if we have a break it would be harder to understand each other.What should i do?[Moderator's note: Please update providing more details. For example, the specific things you fight about. Thanks.]
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female
reader, purplecloud03  +, writes (30 April 2009):
 if u are fighting all the time beacuse she doesnt understand you then write her a letter, explaining that u cant talk to her cos she gets upset and wont listen. if she cant control her emotions and listen to u to sort out the problems then your relationship will end. you wont be able to avoid the breakup. by the sounds of the last bit its already on her mind.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009): I am in the exact situation with my current boyfriend... maybe you are just incompatible. You need to allow her the space for her personal development. She can either come back or completely break things off... What you need to do at this point is to work on yourself, and try to understand you as a person. What I picked up from my soon to be ex, was that we tried to make ourselves the people we were not, just for peace sake so that we do not break up. resentments and unresolved issues in relationships create very wide rifts at the end... he also cheated on me at the beginning of the relationship. that does not leave me at all. i found it very hard to forgive
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