A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I found out my hubby had a FWB and this had been going on for around 8 years. I asked for a divorce and he begged me to stay so that we could try again. He went to counselling with me and for the last 18 months things have been okay. But.... I feel like something has changed in the relationship, eventhough we are both actively working towards making the relationship work, I just feel like something is 'missing'. I do love him very much and he has been the perfect husband for the last 18 months but still something does not sit right. [We have been married for 26 years and have grown children.]Any suggestions from the Agony Aunts?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009): You are not re investing in him and your marriage - trying error.
I should have typed "You are now re investing in him and your marriage"
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009): he betrayed your TRUST, deep down you still cannot trust him. you are now seeing him with different critical eyes and this is not a bad thing. you are more observant and more realistic in your approach in your marriage.
you need to make doubly sure that he has ended his 8 yr affair. he has covered up before this affair, are you certain he is not still sleeping with her. 8 yrs is a very long time to not develop any feelings. it just cannot be a sexual encounter, he invested his time, his life and himself with her. so there was something there for the 8 yrs he was with her. and sex was not the only thing. as women we sometimes just want to move on and not fix the peoblem. we hope that with time the hubby will forget his OW.
You are not re investing in him and your marriage. i do wish you luck but please be alert, please watch for signs. if he did this for 8 yrs how sure are you that it is truly truly over.
this feeling that something is not right, is it just late emotions getting to grips with about his FWB person. Maybe it is the GUT FEELIG that we women have which turns out to be exactly what it is. If something feels not right then sadly it is not. you need to investigate and watch, observe more and be prepared for anything that may come your way.
i wish you well and years of happiness.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBefore I discovered the FWB things were great [or so I thought] people would tell us that they admired us we had such a great marriage and relationship with each other. No, this feeling that something is missing has been getting worse and worse over the last 6 months or so.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009): Did you feel this way before you found out about your hubby's FWB? Because if you didn't, then it could just be that you no longer trust your partner. And trust is probably what's missing.It will take some time to build it back up... but only if both parties are willing.
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