A
male
age
41-50,
*ieldblue
writes:I have been with this girl for 9 months now (my longest relationship). I love her like no other. Our relationship has been pretty good except for one thing... her ex. They were bairly speaking when we first got together and now they are best friends. They see eachother all the time and she has lied to me about it on several occassions. I haven't exactly handled this as good as i should have. In fact i checked her emails at one point and saw that she wrote him basically saying she was very upset about him hooking up with a girl (the girl he cheated on her with) and that he will always be the one she loves most. Reading this really upset me. I'm next to positive that she still loves him. But she completely denies it. We have fought about this a lot in fact it's the only thing we've really fought about. I suspect she has cheated on me with him but have no real proof. I know that i should just cut my loses and move on but i really love this girl and i do understand she can't help how she feels. I just want her to be honest with me, to let me know whats really going on. If she is in love with both of us and confused, i want to know. And if she needs time to figure things out I'm fine with that... My question is, how do i get her to admit to me whats really going on??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2007): MMMM This really is a tricky one. To find the message saying she will always love him the most, well that one would of killed me. Sorry but i would of confronted her then and there, asked her what the hell was going on. If she loves him so much then why is she with you. I just couldn't be with someone who admits to loving someone else more than they could ever love me! Sorry but i think i would have to be off. You could try talking to her and finding out just what is in her head. How is the future going to go? etc. But you need to find some answers and come to some decisions fast, because no one can go on like this. Personally i think you deserve better.
Take care
xx
A
female
reader, dollparts  +, writes (14 February 2007):
 Well first of all do not read her emails k thats the thing that will make her close up second go about it very softly with her it may take time but you got to get her to trust that your not going to freak out completely on her for it just sit her down and talk to her and say you know I really love you but this hurts me and all I want to know is the truth. you know what I'm saying?
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