A
female
age
36-40,
*icoleray143
writes:I have a serious issue, my fiance only wants to have Sex once every couple weeks and i want it every night or at least ever other day, but i have never had to be the one to come on to a man before because the man always wanted it, i have hinted around and it's almost like he blows me off, his excuse is he needs to see a doctor because he is having gull bladder problems or something to do with passing stones, i am not sure if that has anything to do with loss of Sex drive but my Q is 'how do i talk to him about this and be as blunt as possible that i am not happy with how often we have Sex..and when we do it's for a short time, also do you think this could be a problem because he is 49yrs old and i am 25yrs old??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, alice0110  +, writes (24 November 2010):
yes, the age gap could be what is behind this. but, you need to try and get him aroused, that way he will be keen
A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (24 November 2010):
 Yes, the age difference is definitely going to be a factor. You have yet to reach your sexual prime in your life while his sexual prime is long gone.
I'm sure you've already heard people tell you that relationships with a big age difference like yours won't work. The reason people say that is because there are actual facts to help prove that point. Physically you two are in a totally different point of your lives. You won't hit your sexual prime until your 30's. Men, they say, hit theirs in their early to mid 20's. Mentally you two are in different places as well. He's well established and beginning to think about retirement planning while someone like you in their 20's is deciding exactly what they want from their lives... family, kids, etc.
But, to get back to your question..... a 49 year old man wanting to have sex every few weeks is NOT unusual.
You really need to think long and hard if this is someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. Think about it, in 10 years you will be 35 and he will be one year away from 60. Do you think you'll be getting much sex then?
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 November 2010):
 Yes, definitely! Is this a trick question? Why are you even engaged to a man who you are not sexually compatible with, it shouldn't have to be a struggle. And if you want to talk to him about it you just have to be blunt and say it like it is.
It could be he is sick and thats whats causing the lack of lust, but I lean way more towards his age. He is old. And while older people might want sex, a man has his "prime" years as a teenager and until he reaches 30-something. After that it goes downhill, while women have more and more lust for sex as they grow older.
What are you doing with this man?
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