A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I recently met a man on a dating site, he said that he would love to talk to me if I am interested then I said yes I am. We hit it off from there. I have been on the site for 4 months, he for one year and I was going over other sites, I found out that he is a member of another site for 3 years but he stopped logging in when he met me. We exchange emails and chat online but not enough cause his job requires him to do projects out of town from 2 weeks to 20 days. He answers all my emails but chatting online is very hard.When he is free, I am asleep cause it is late when I arrange an appointment he is either out of town or renovating his house. How do you think this can work? Am I in a hurry to pursue a relationship or is this normal? We have known each other for 2 months. Many people on the site send me marriage proposals but I like this guy. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Liv +, writes (4 June 2007):
 I think that this relationship can work, because if you two really like each other then nothing should stand in the way of your love. It would be nicer to video chat each other on phones if you have them, or if your chatting online then you could use webcams and see each other. But, if you confide in your boyfriend, then maybe he will put his love before his career and focus on getting a new job that will include you two seeing each other more. i think this can work :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2007): Are you sure he's ready for a serious romance? The one key ingredient I see that may be a problem here...is communication and establishing a quality relationship to begin with. Relationships require hard work and sacrifice, hun and a lot of talking, especially in those first few critical months. He is a busy guy and you only know what he is telling you. Have you met him...in real life? Is he phoning, when he cannot message you? Have you seen his world, seen where he lives? That would be the first step, if you haven't already. The problem with online dating is that couples get too comfortable with just---emailing, but end up, never taking it further. So if you haven't met...make sure you do that, asap. As online dating is just an introduction to someone new..the real life interaction should occur quickly, within a month. If you have met and clicked well, it is crucial you both get talking and keep getting to know each other. I feel he has to make the time for you and you should expect that.
Also, it doesn't help your situation..that other men are expressing interest in you, as well. But I have to say, the other guys that are proposing marriage,online..might seem complimentary and flattering to you but, they seem a needy and desperate. You are being smart to back away from those guys. It's highly likely they propose marriage to dozens of women on dating sites, hun. In which case, they could be players as well.
Now about this other guy you like. Usually, in the beginning phases, such as the first months...a couple spend a lot of their spare time communicating, bonding and building something worthwhile. It appears your fellow is either 1) going slow and he's being overly cautious or b) he has a number of women on tap and he's taking his time, choosing. And that is perfectly okay. You should be doing the same, as dating is a selection process with a goal..to finding the best person for one's future. You want to choose wisely or c) he really is busy, in which case..he may be going too slow for what you want in a partner. I would ask him to make the efforts to communicate more, if that's what you want. You would not be out of line to nicely ask for more communication. If you are content where you are both heading, then wait it out and see what happens. But if things don't progress within the next month, I suggest you look at other prospects. I certainly wouldn't make him my one and only..until he gives a gal a better indicator that he wants to build a relationship 'only' with you.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (4 June 2007):
 He may be married. Be very careful. Married guys play around on the online dating sites. How sure are you that he is single?
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