A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i feel as i am in the same cycle as my mom was. my mom was with my dad (whom was an alcholic) and has put up with abuse from him degrading her to beating her.one day, she managed to be brave enough and walk away with having nothing except taking the children. she separated from him and never went back and now divorced. my dad got help and my mom empowered herself for leaving him, and after years of abuse, they can manage to have a civil conversation which makes me happy to see. i have been with my bf for 3 yrs, and its been recent that he has laid his hands on me. he has no substance abuse, but just has major anger issues when he blows up. i have been slapped in the face, hit in the head, shoved, pushed, hand twisted, everything imagineable. i am at the point that i need to do what my mom did, and stop this deadly cycle, though, i do not know how i can empower myself to feel strong enough to just walk off and not look back. i have never told my mom about what is happening to me since she has a major heart condition and this could offset more health problems for her and i dont want that for her. what steps do i take to empower myself to do what she did?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2007): you should leave this guy, because if anyone starts hitting you, then it dont matter how much you like him, just get the hell out of there. All you have to do really is sit him down, and gently say something like "I dont really think Im ready for a serious relationship like this yet" and I bet you that he will understand.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2007): you need to forget this guy cuz if has the nerve to lay his hands on you to hurt you then he does not care about you at all cuz a real man that actually cares about you would not let any thing happen to you that also includes him hurting you cuz if he loves you he would not do that so put that bum behind you and get a real man
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (4 June 2007):
 Because of the physical violence. You've forgotten your self worth. You have the power to do anything. As soon as he goes out, pack your bags and leave. You're worth more than this.
Walk outta there and DON'T LOOK BACK.
Your future will be so much brighter than if you stay and live in the past.
As eyeswideopen said, if your Mum could do it, so can you.
You can do anything if you want it badly enough.
You can do it!
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A
female
reader, Midge  +, writes (4 June 2007):
 As hard as it may be, you just pack your stuff and walk out the door. Its not about empowering yourself, its about having enough respect for yourself to know that THAT is NOT how you show someone love, and THAT is NOT how you treat the person you are supposed to love!
Just walk! He sounds as though he isnt worth the hassle and trust me when I say, as soon as you walk out that door, a weight would be lifted off your shoulders. Your mom may have a heart condition, but perhaps staying with her for a short time, will "empower" you enough to show you that you made the right choice! You are worth so much more than having a man slap you and beat you around like that! You need to see that, and you need to make the step to get out of their NOW!!!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (4 June 2007):
 First of all he is your boyfriend not your husband that makes it easier to walk away there are no legal ties. Figure out where you can stay, get your bags packed and just walk out the door. He may seriously injure you or worse next time. If your Mom could do it so can you. Be strong and get moving.
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