A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, Ive been with my partner for 3 yrs now and living together for 8 months. To be honest we fight so much I can't take it anymore. We do love each other but we can't seem to get on with each other.. when do you say enough is enough and walk away. I do love him but I don't know how to make things right with him. I don't like him very much at the moment... I don't want to break up with him but how do I resolve this situation?? Its like we have very different views on things and neither of us will back down..Someone please help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Mia Rio  +, writes (30 May 2008):
If i were you I'd let him see that you were serious about the fact that your fed up with him, scare him a little. I'd maybe take a break from him for a week or two. That way you can see if your happier being away from him or if you think about him a lot and he can 2. If i were you i wouldnt encourage him by getting worked up over wee things and believe me i know thats hard because me and my ex were like this! It sounds stupid but set the example in the relationship if you want it to work,if you bend he should 2 and if he doesnt then its not meant to be. hope this helped.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008): If your both at stalemate and really can't find the right time to sit down together and work out what you both want, then perhaps you can convince him to go with you to a professional counsellor.
Relationships are damn hard work. We have a misconception that we should be happy with eachother all the time, that we shouldn't argue or upset the other person, that we shouldn't state our needs. We place absolutely impossible embargos on ourselves and our partner and before you know it, the cracks begin to show and we feel like walking away.
People also stay together for all the wrong reasons, fear of lonliness, money, kids etc and this all adds pressure.
Ask your partner what he feels about the relationship. Men arnt good at this stuff so you might have to wait until he is in a good mood. Be objective and matter of fact. Don't accuse him of anything and start a row because, for you, it's a fact finding mission.
Tell him you think its time to examine what is happening between you at the moment and that you are doing it to make things better. If he sees it as conflict, then just stand back and leave it for a while. Try again another time and eventually he will break open a little and reveal to you how he feels.
When you identify what both your needs are you can work out a way to meet them. Try to find a compromise if you have different views on things. Its not a crime to hold a difference of opinion and you may have to inject a little humour into the situation. Try to identify the things that you both agree on and build on those. Think of all the resons you liked him in the first place and ask him what he liked about you.
Men are notorious for wanting space. They like to work out problems in their own time, so if he seems moody or depressed, just back off and give him room, he will soon come around.
If you really need to bitch and moan about things, find a girlfriend whos willing to dish the dirt with you, but try to stay calm and direct when talking to him.
If things dont work out, then walk away with the sound knowledge that you tried your best.
Good luck
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