A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi All,Please advice. I have been married to my husband for a year and a half now. I love him. Ever since we have been dating and married I am the one who initiates sex or kissing cuddling etc . We never had sex before marriage. Even after marriage we just have sex once in a week. Always, I am the one who cuddles and kisses him. Its never ever initiated from him.Sometimes when I initiate (when we have not yet had bath or when he returns from office) he turns me down outright. Initially when we were dating I thought he was just being sensitive and not initiating unless wanted to. Also he is never spontaneous about anything. Whenever we have sex its only on weekends, right after bath and always the same position. Anything else I try excites him too much making him finish before I even start. We never have any sex on weekdays. I don't know what to do. I am getting very frustrated.When I try to speak with about this he gets very angry and we usually end up having a big fight. I cant even discuss this my friends or family. Is something wrong with me?. I had thought men are the ones who ask for sex. I feel so rejected. I feel he is not interested in me at all. I feel I married the wrong person and I should have realized this before marriage when we were dating.Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for you replies. My husband is not fat and neither am I. I had asked him once before too whether he masturbates and he said no. I spoke with him once again with the same reaction. He said he is tired everyday and only weekends he has energy. He also said I take a lot of time.He has gone down on me maybe twice (only after bath), if I tell I can go down for him, he says he is uncomfortable.I suggested that we seek professional help and he got very angry. I love him a lot. He is like my best pal. I get along with him very well. I want to make this marriage work.Thanks
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009): This is stuff that can't be allowed to sit un-discussed. Tell him that he may not like talking about it, but he would probably like it even less to lose his marriage over it by not talking about it.
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A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (27 July 2009):
I'm going to take a different approach.First, what happens when you try to initiate sex during the week? At your age when my wife came into our living room butt naked and asked me into the bedroom I want there in about 2 seconds. Does he respond? Will he be playful with you? Take showers together? go down on you? Let you go down on him? Tell him you want to get off (have an orgasam)... see what his response is...Is he from a strict relegion or culture? Do you think that he's learned this behavior from his elders? There's NOTHING wrong with you, he seems very up tight, which is not healthy.Personally, this is exactly why couples need to have sex (alot) before marriage, this is a sad thing to discover. You deserve a healthy and FUN sex life... years of it!
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A
female
reader, MuffinGirl  +, writes (26 July 2009):
 Of course there is not anything wrong with you, your husband is frustrated about sex. Why haven't you had sex before marriage? Probably he think of sex as something dirty and not made for pleasure. I think he should talk with sexologist. He will have to relax and learn himself how to really enjoy during sex. Be honest with him, tell him excatly what bothers you and ask him why does he think of sex as something nasty. Show him that sex is one of the best parts relationship- and it can be pure and beautiful, even is it erotic and passionate.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, tonik  +, writes (26 July 2009):
 Helo it seems you are having a bit of a hard situation, usually when a man does that it means he's hitting on someone or he masturbates too much, does he like being alone? but however it could be a case of him no longer interested in you. Please try to notice his habits, etc. Other than that you need to see a Marriage Counsellor before your relationship goes down the stream. Maybe you might find out what is really making him do that only if you seek Professional help. Another question is what is your decision about a baby?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2009): Is your husband fat? Is he worried about having sex with you because he thinks he's not good looking enough for you? Does he masturbate regularly?
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