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We dated on and off; now he has a girlfriend but still acts like he wants me

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 July 2007) 6 Answers - (Newest, 16 July 2007)
A female United States age 36-40, *enlynn writes:

Dear whoever will answer this,

So I need some major advice. I've dated this guy on and off for a year, and now he has a girlfriend but he still acts like he wants to be with me. He's one of my best friends and I hate the thought of losing him but at the same time its hard to move on when he keeps reminding me how much I love him. What should I do?

thanks

View related questions: best friend, has a girlfriend, move on

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A female reader, O Connor Ireland +, writes (16 July 2007):

O Connor agony auntyour completely right - the things he is saying are not right. he is leading you on and making you think that there is something there but he is not taking it any furthere than that - if he loves you fair enough, he should be with you!! but honestly wat he is doing is not fair - to you or the girlfriend

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A female reader, O Connor Ireland +, writes (16 July 2007):

O Connor agony aunthi there hun, i feel for you - its hard to be friends with someone that you cant be with but want to. the only thing i can tell you is that if he really did love you then he would be with you and not this new woman. if you find it too hard to be friends with him then give yourself a break from him to give yourself a chance to get over him and move on - something that you cant seem to do while your around him you know? i know its hard but it has to be done if your gonna let go. move on and you will find someone who knows wat a good thing he has, good luck if you wanna talk just email!! xxx

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A female reader, jenlynn United States +, writes (16 July 2007):

jenlynn is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for all the answers so far. The thing is we always talk about it. And he always says we would last longer if we were dating now. Also on his birthday me him and his girlfriend were there and he told me he loved me in front of her, and that I knew him best. I don't want to be one of those ex girlfriends who are always in the way and I agree if he really wanted me he wouldn't have a girlfriend. But at the same time everytime we're together the sparks start flying again and even though he hasn't cheated on her. some of the things he says aren't right.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2007):

he wants to have his cake and eat it too. he's not acting like a friend because he's not thinking of your feelings and he's definately not thinking about his girlfriend. he's only thinking of himself. tell him you think his behaviour is in appropriate. a true friend would realise you are right and stop immediately

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A female reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT United Kingdom +, writes (16 July 2007):

BEEN THERE DONE IT agony auntHi babes,

If he really wanted you he would not have a girlfriend right now, he may act like he wants you but to have you he needs to be single its not fair on his girlfriend nor is it fair on your emotions.....

Its hard to move on I know but you have to for your own sake, if he wants you then he needs to pursue you without a girlfriend on his arm......

Take care babes hope you sort this out

Love Donna x

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A female reader, kimbob06 United Kingdom +, writes (16 July 2007):

tell him how you really feel inside to see if he feels the same and if he doesnt at least you know where you stand and you will move on it will be hard i've been there myself but knowing that you have a true friend who loves you will help you through it

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