A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i've been on a few nights out and they've been great gone out had a good time simple was great. I don't go out to hook up or anything I just go out for the laugh with my friends.However, last night I was dancing with a really good looking girl it was fun but what i realized was that i didn't know what to do afterwards as i said she was very pretty and I would have liked to got number or name but I just didn't know what to do to get the stage with her.I used to be really shy and still am in some situations. As I said I don't go out to hook up or anything but if this happens again I would like to have the confidence of knowing what to say or do to get the girls name/ number in a clubI don't want to give the wrong impression I don't want to go off sleeping with girls at random I just want to have the confidence of knowing what to do in that situation
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female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (4 August 2014):
 Its a great fact that you aren't interested with just taking a girl home for the night, because as a young woman myself for me and most of my female friends it is rather unattractive when a guy at a pub/club just wants us for a quick you know what, however I know not all girls are like us. I think the mentality you have is great, and of course when your in an environment where everyone is grinding up against one and another, in skimpy dresses and all that, not mentioning the alcohol it can be very hard to get it across to someone that you aren't just there to get your leg over. I'll try and give you a few tips that would work on myself and some of my female friends in order for man to get our numbers. So basically next time you are dancing with a woman this might be a starting point for you. After the dancing, maybe start by offering the girl in question a drink (I mean who is going to turn down a free drink XD) if she says no, she isn't interested. If she says yes then proceed to the bar and buy her a drink. You now have made it to the next level. Congrats :D. Now of course clubs can be noisy, so try get her in a reasonably quiet spot so you can chat. A lot of guys who want to take a girl home, normally skip a lot of the chatting part and get straight to the, "grab your coat you've pulled part", so this will be the first sign of letting her know you are different. Ask her name, where she works, who she's with tonight, what she likes doing on the weekends, what her favourite song is..basic chit chat. If she is in active conversation with you at this point, you have made it to the next level. Now I personally wouldn't ask the question "have you got a boyfriend?" because in a way it kinda states that the only reason you are talking to her is because she is single, and even though that might be a big point as to why you are talking to her, if you act gentlemenly, even if she says she has a boyfriend, she is likely to go over to her girly friends and say what a lovely lad you are. Oh and btw don't worry, if she does have a boyfriend she will definitely tell you. Now this is where you go in for the kill, compliment her, tell her she looks very beautiful tonight, pick a particular thing you like about her and tell her, don't soak her in the compliments however as it can come across as cheesy, but after maybe a few compliments, maybe a few light hearted jokes, then use the classic line of "You know, i'd really like to get to know you some more, can we maybe exchange numbers?" If she says yes you may be in with a chance, and if she says no you should politely thank her anyway and wish her to have a good night. Now even though you have made it through to the final level, this doesn't mean you are through. Some woman can be mean, and some can simply not have the courage to say "i'm sorry but you can't have my number". So the next day as long as your hangover isn't too bad, send a text to the number saying "hi this is so and so from last night, how are you today?". Do this to see if she gave you the RIGHT number, as women giving men fake numbers is a classic. And then if it is the right number build it up from there :) However in this whole thing you must remember that you need to take rejection modestly. No one likes getting rejected, but if you seem to act badly to it, then you will start to give off vibes which make girls not want to talk to you in clubs/pubs. But anyway I hope this helps, good luck. P.S Another tip, for girls who like to play pool or darts, offer them a game! You can either use the whole "If you win i'll buy you a drink" so you get to talk to her at the same time before you buy her a drink or if you are feeling a bit more confident say "If I win you give me your number", girls love a nice cheeky guy and it will state you are interested in getting to know her, not getting in her pants!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2014): Men like you are a catch. Your attitude of not wanting to give the wrong impression is really refreshing and I think you will bode well with the ladies but here is the caveat...
I preface this by saying that I, in no way, mean to generalize the human experience. I have two brothers, so this is where this piece of observational material comes from. Here goes: Expect rejection because more than not, men have to get use to being turn down. Heck, it happens to us ladies too! You have to swallow your pride and realize that at the end of the day, it's not personal is someone say no. Takes a few times of trying. It's hard, it's always hard to but yourself out there. Just say something like: "You seem really cool, I'd love to talk to you so more. Do you have a boyfriend?" I wouldn't worry too much about giving of the impression you are sleeping with girls at random, people pick up on your level of being genuine, more than anything it is a compliment for someone to ask for your number. Eventually, keep putting yourself out there, you'll find the one for you.
Anyway, good luck to you. Just my two cents.
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