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male
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anonymous
writes: My girlfriend and I were virtually perfect for each other. Everybody thought that we were the perfect couple. However, there were a couple of things that we disagreed on and we couldn't compromise. Religion, our life's goals, and location (she's a city girl and I like the country life) were among the biggest issues. We broke up because of these differences. We realized that we would never agree on these issues and so we broke up mutually. We both love each other so much and no other person can fill the void. She was so beautiful and perfect for me. Was it right to break up?
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female
reader, beenthere +, writes (4 November 2005):
if you love each other that much, you should try to compromise. you can work around the religion and life goal issues. just accept each others views and ambitions. the location issue is the biggest problem here. has she tried the country and you the city? if so, there are places in between. if you did not try all the options, yes you made a mistake but if, after doing all you can do, nothing worked then you have to get on with your life without her. i had a long distance relationship. he couldn't move to me because of work and i couldn't move because of my family. he is still in love with me but i'm with someone elae. he's accepted this because of the reasons but we still keep in touch. if it's going to hurt too much to keep in touch, break all ties completely. one day, one or both of you may change but in the meantime, get on with your life. use work, friends and hobbies to fill the void until you are ready to find someone else or until you and your girl are ready to compromise
A
female
reader, Mirabell +, writes (4 November 2005):
 Of course it was. The two of you decided that you had very different dreams. If your love was more important than those other life choices niether of you would have allowed the breakup to proceed. You both know you can't be together and that makes the relationship's ending more tragic and the connection between you forbidden. People always say in these situations that "they were perfect for me . . .but" when in actuality you should recognize that if you look at it objectively, the line is "we didn't work. . .because of that." Trust me, it's a big difference. You must break up with people along the way. It is always hardest when things are perfect on paper. If there was a grand connection, you'd know. Chemistry holds couples together. Of course it is far more tragic to break up because of circumstances you can't control. However, just remember that you have to go through all these bad situations, or it won't mean as much when you find the right girl.
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A
female
reader, Clarey  +, writes (4 November 2005):
 I was discussing this type of subject only last night. Itseems that people these days have a shopping list of things they want from a relationship, all of which have to be met. In the war, people were separated for years my Mum said. There was a time when I think people were more able to compromise. Is it necessary to agree about religion if you hold similar morals and values to do with the way you think people whould be treated etc? Nobody should be forced into soeone elses mould. If you love someone you cherish their ideas even if they do not fit with yours. Is there not an area between the city and the country that makes both accessible? Why can you not respect each other's differences? It makes me wonder that you love her because she is beautiful - is that what love is? Or is it truly accepting someone? I think you have to be an awful lot more flexible to let love into your life.
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