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male
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anonymous
writes: I'm 22. I come from a 'well to do' family. I met a girl who had similar likes and dislikes to me. Seen her for about 3 months, we really clicked, never felt this before. Then i told my parents about her. They said don't see her, because she not in your 'league' and i could do better etc. Trouble is i can't stop thinking about her - i regret every day not getting a chance with someone i get on so well with. There is no reasoning with parents whatsoever, they go mad. Hope someone can offer some advice, these feelings won't go away but i love my family??? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (16 March 2006):
 The apron strings to your family have to be cut sometime and if you fancy spending time with this girl then make your choice and go ahead and do it. You are not going to spend the rest of your life living by your parents standards and rules so make a stand now and go to her. x
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2006): I agree ONE HUNDRED PERCENT with Smeedle. It's your life, and not theirs, you have the right to be happy. Although it's easier said than done. I know exactly how you are feeling and what you are thinking. I've been in the exact situation, as my folks try control the friends, and relationships that I have, their background, their appearance, race, religion that my friends are.I've made my own friends, obviously people that I get along well with, and that are good friends, but I'm not actively looking for someone to suit what my folks want, it's what makes you happy.All the best.
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female
reader, juliagulia +, writes (15 March 2006):
 Your family should want you to be happy. If this girl makes you happy, then you should be with her. There is no reason for them to be stuck up about her background and not give her a chance. I know you love your family, but you are an adult now and you need to do what makes YOU happy, not them. At least when it comes to this. This is your life and you have to live it for you. Follow your heart. It has only been a few months. Give it some time and maybe they will come around. They need to respect your feelings and your judgement. Just because she comes from a different background doesn't mean that she isn't a good person who has potential to do great things. You say there is no reasoning with them - then just stop justifying your actions. Just say "I love you (family) but I feel very strongly about this person and she makes me happy. I am sorry if my relationship upsets you, but I have to follow my heart. I am going to keep seeing her no matter what you think because I am an adult, it is my life and this is what makes me happy and you need to respect that" if you keep telling them that, then eventually they will have to accept it. If you let them control your relationship, what else will they try to control in your life? You have to start taking control of what is important to you -- you aren't a kid anymore. If you still rely on them for financial support and they are threatening to take that away from you, then try to find a way to support yourself so they will see that they can't keep pushing you around. They will respect you more in the long run if you show them that you have taken control of your own life. Good luck with this, I hope it works out!
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female
reader, smeedle +, writes (15 March 2006):
 For gods sake wake up, you are 21 not 12, they have no controle over who you go out with and you must stand up to them.
They are snobs and that is that, she sounds like a lovely girl and you would miss out on having a fantastic relationship with her just because she comes from a working class background and mum and dad dont like her.
I thouht this kind of snobbery went out with the ark, what are you thinking, have a relationship with her and make up your own mind about her based on who she is not what she has.
Your parents will get over it and may even get to like her if they give her a chance and if they dont well what the hell as long as you like her nothing else should matter.
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