A
female
age
41-50,
*hortigal
writes:I have been with the most amazing man for two years. I love him more than I have loved anyone and I can't imagine my life without him. The problem is I am having a hard time seeing a future with him. We are both single parents and have separate lives during the week. We see each other every weekend, but never during the week. We cannot afford a place big enough for all of us which prevents us from getting married and/or living together. I don't see either of us being in a financial situation that would allow this anytime in the near future. I also would love to have a baby with him before our kids get too old, but again, the financial and living situation prevents this. I am having such a hard time accepting that my dream of being a 'family' with him won't come true, and he is getting tired and annoyed with me bringing it up since it is out of our control at the moment. What should I do? Stay a weekend girlfriend forever, or find a way to move on even though I love him with all my heart?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2009): Thank you for answering. Generally people can save money by living together, but that is not the case for us. I have 2 kids and live in a 3 bedroom apartment, he has 1 child and lives in a 2 bedroom. He doesn't want to live together unless we can get a 4 bedroom so each child can have their own room. However, neither of us pay a lot for our apartments and a four bedroom would be a lot more than what we pay now combined. After my divorce I went back to school, but still have 3 years left, and I don't think we will be able to live together or get married till I graduate and get a good job. That just seems so far away and it really breaks my heart.
A
male
reader, Cobra99  +, writes (17 August 2009):
Life is too short to move on from a relationship you are both so happy in, if you both trully love eachother as much as you say you do, you will find a way, it seems that if both of you pooled what you currently pay for your seperate houses and get something together, you would be no worse off, in fact sharing things like utility bills and food might actually alleviate a little of your financial overlay.
If however he is keeping you at a distance and using this scenario as an excuse, then you need to evaluate your future, true happyness is not easy to comeby, people spend their entire liftimes going from partner to partner or failed marriages, life is just to short to pass up the chance of being with the ONE.
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A
male
reader, Heartbroken in love +, writes (17 August 2009):
Ok so he has his own place and you have your own place is that what you are saying? If you each have your own bills and seem to be making it happen individually than I really don't see why you couldn't make it happen finacially together. I understand maybe you wouoldn't be able to buy a house together right now but certainly an apt for your family. A 3 bedroom apt? How many kids between the two of you just 2 or 3 or what? If we are just talking expenses. Monthly bills would actually be cheaper if you lived together. One phone, one power bill, one cable bill. I 3 bedroom apt might even be cheaper than a 2 one bedroom apts but I don't know. Just some ideas for you to consider
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