A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi Aunts and Uncles,i was hoping for some advice.I am 26 and I have always lived at home with my parents and my sister-we have a gorgeous,huge house with a big garden and front drive and every bedroom has an en suite and i love it.Also as a family we get on really well.Now me and my fiance have started looking at moving in together and we both have savings and each of our families said they will help us out but i dont like any of the houses we have seen. Im used to big,spacious houses and all the houses in our price range are so small and look tacky.I love my fiance and would love for it to be just me and him,in our own house but i cant bear the thought of living in a small house. I know its= sounds selfish. I did suggest that we save up more and move out until we can afford a bigger place but he doesnt want to wait.Anyone had to compomise and still be happy?
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female
reader, Teacake  +, writes (22 November 2008):
 The bigger the house the more expensive it is to keep up, pay for heating and such, so much more time to clean and repair... nice dream but big houses can be a nightmare.
Why do you need so much space? Do you entertain alot? Is this a way for him to prove to you how much he loves you? What about what he needs? Where can you compromise. My advise is to do what makes him happy because he might resent you for getting him in over his head.
A
female
reader, MissUnique +, writes (22 November 2008):
 What does it matter about size? I know you're not being selfish but lots of people could mistake you for it. Saving up for a big house could take ages. The way I see it, you have a few options.
- You break up with your fiancee, find a rich guy with a big house, have your dream.
- You settle for staying at home.
- You opt. for a smaller house to begin with, then move onto a bigger one when you can afford it. You can switch houses you know.
I'd suggest the latter. Even if it isn't that great, you'll have your own home, then your furniture. Anyways, a big house needs more furniture = more money. It would leave you with nothing left. Wait until you have more money then buy your house.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2008): As it is very unlikely that this will be the only house you will ever live in then I would say go for what you can afford now, and move up the property ladder ina few years or so. That's what most people do. For me, the choice between living with my fiance in a smaller house or staying with my family in a bigger house wouldn't even exist. It depends what you value more. I don't think you're being selfish though; but I'm sure you'll get something bigger in the future. I would say that getting on the property ladder is the most important step.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2008): As I see it, you have two choices, 1. keep saving for a bigger, better house. And stay in your big beautiful, spacious house. OR...
Find a cute little cottage-like house with potential to be a sanctuary for you and your guy! When I'm in love, my surroundings are secondary...it's being with the love of my life is what's important.
If a structure is your primary concern, than keep socking money away, and wait till you can afford what you want. But a warning: I've seen people in life waiting for those perfect circumstances before they make a move in life...and time went by and things have unraveled to the point of losing the window of opportunity...I hope I've made some sense and helped you some!
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, Miss Potter +, writes (22 November 2008):
 Hi, I will be facing the same problem, not just yet, but in 2 years or so.
You will just have to accept that you will have to gradually move up in your quality of life I guess, it sucks at first, but unless your families will want to help you get your dream house, then you will have to do it on your own.
I would suggest looking up an appartment, I know you dont get a garden with it, but they are less costly, so maybe you would get more space in an appartment for the same price of a smaller house? Besides there will be less renovation works, less fees to pay in the beginning (I know my ex had to pay something like 2,000 gbp for the land check up and some other "crap") and the tax will be lower, and the gas bills will be less too.
You are still young, in 5 years time you will be earning more and probably have kids so then it will make sense to have a bigger house.
All the best
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