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female
,
anonymous
writes: My serious boyfriend and I broke up briefly for a week, he was somewhat jealous and had a hard time with me working around other men. When we were together I had an e-mail from another guy business related. I didn't respond to the e-mail and told my boyfriend about it telling him I think the guy may have other intentions. During our brake I decided to get back to work and responed to his e-mail and made sure it was business related. My boyfriend and I are back together and he found out about the e-mail and now he is mad and thinks I had other intentions other than business. How can I explain to him I was just trying to get back to work and nothing else? Was I wrong to e-mail him back?
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broke up, jealous, workplace Reply to this Question
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (20 April 2006):
 Your boyfriend is insecure and controlling. You have to be very careful with this type of guy. If you let him think he's correct in his assumptions, you'll only fuel his fire. This type of thing has to be handled in no uncertain terms. It's the tip of the iceberg and he'll keep pushing. Why should you pay a price for a crime you didn't commit. I'm referring to being in the company of men at work. What other choice do you have ???
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (20 April 2006):
 Emailing him back was 100% ok, especially since you were so open with your boyfriend about the original email you received. Explaining to him clearly will probably help. A lot of reassurance; that you love him, and not anyone else, and want to be with him.But this is by any standard definition 'very' jealous behaviour. Whatever you do in life you are going to come into contact with men, and have to communicate with them. Some of them will find you attractive. Your boyfriend is going to have to come to terms with his jealousy, or you will end up re-running this scenario over and over. It is his issue, not yours, and one only he can solve. It is not easy, and although you can help him, he has to want to conquer it himself and make most of the effort. If he doesn't or is unwilling, then you are going to continually run up against this issue in your relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2006): You're not wrong at all. Your boyfriend is just super sensitive and super insecure.
Ask your bf what you can say to make him listen. Cuz a person who refuses to listen in the first place, is a great sign he's an ignorant bastard who just wants everything his way.
[sigh]
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