A
male
age
41-50,
*tupidGuyOhyes
writes:Hello Everybody!Okay, I have a situation. I finished with my girlfriend a couple of weeks ago because she was cheating. Please see my previous questions. (Had really good advice as well. Thank you to all!)Anyway she got in touch the other day telling me how sorry she is and that she wants to try again. This was on Friday. She kept on at me and I've agreed to meet her later in the week. I still have feelings for her. She told me that there was nobody else and begged for forgiveness. But my gut feeling was telling me something wasn't right. So last night I went on to the dating website I caught her on 3 TIMES IN THE PAST and sure enough she was there. I decided to message her and get her story. Anyway we got talking and she's totally made it out that it was all me that was the cheat! I was so angry. She's still a lying cheating thing. But I've played it cool. Now I know this sounds cruel. But I'm in two minds. I'm meant to meet her but do I meet her and tell exactly what I think of her and tell her I'd never take her back in a million years or do I just stand her up? I know this sounds horrible but I want her to get a taste of her own medicine. She is a very, very attractive lady and she ALWAYS gets what she wants! And I know she can have any man she wants but this time she's not! What should I do?Thanks to all for their advice!:)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2012): You did the best thing for you and for her. You can now look forward with no regrets. You may wonder "what if" but that is a game that is played only in the mind.
Best of luck to you.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (4 October 2012):
 Good for you.
Ending a relationship in way that doesn't give you regrets down the line is a good thing. Maybe you will give her food for thought and maybe she will learn that what SHE did isn't OK.
I hope you find a girl who treats you the way you deserve.
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A
male
reader, StupidGuyOhyes +, writes (4 October 2012):
StupidGuyOhyes is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust so everyone knows. I did the grown up admirable thing. We text for a little bit over the last few days. Today I was meant to meet her, but the whole time my gut was telling me how wrong it was even though there was still a little part of me that wanted to. But I told her it was never going to happen. I couldn't possibly meet her. Never mind be with her again. I feel kind of sorry for her now, but I know I have done the right thing and I feel like I have taken a huge step forward. The whole the thing is just a sorry mess but it is time to move forward. A little part of me will always wish things could have been different. But I guess that's why everything happens for a reason. Anyway, thank you to everyone!Have a good day! :)
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (1 October 2012):
 Don't stand her up, and don't go and tell her what a liar and cheat she is. This will only boost her ego, it means you still care enough about her to take time out of your day to meet up and say mean things to her because she hurt you. She can only hurt you if you still care about her see? The opposite of hate is indifference. And that's the way to get to a pretty egotistical chick, you need to have indifference and just not care about her. I'd reccomend saying nothing else to her until she texts you confirming the date later on. Then say "nah can't do it." when she asks why you say you are busy and don't elaborate. It'll make her feel like crap more so than anything else you could do. She isn't worth your time and effort anymore and she would be aware of it. If she still tries to talk more either ignore all of them or say you have no interest talking anymore. Just always come across and cool, calm and indifferent towards her. You don't care about her and make it known with your actions.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 October 2012):
I'm with SVC - Be a man. Call and and tell her she isn't worth your time, that you have no interest in getting back together and that you do not wish to talk/see her again - tell her to have a nice life. After that you BLOCK her number and delete her from your phone, e-mail, social websites and pat yourself on the back. After that... you work on moving on with your life without her in it.
Standing her up is cowardly, it's not giving her a taste of her own medicine.
Meeting up with her and telling what a liar and cheat she is... will do ABSOLUTELY nothing for you. It might make you feel like you have the power for a few minutes, the thing is.... She knows and YOU know that SHE IS a liar and cheat. She just doesn't care. She just expect you to fall in line and forgive her. I'm guessing she IS very convincing person and she might try and do her best to convince you that it's ALL your fault and the rest of the cheater blah blah..
Just remember you CAN do better.
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A
female
reader, L.A.A. +, writes (1 October 2012):
Totally agree with so very confused. But If it was me I would ignore her, have no contact, ignoring them gets to them way more than getting any reaction at all from you. She doesn't deserve your time or wasted breath telling her what you think of her. Not hearing from you will make her realise what she's done. Dissapear! Also it will help you get over her and move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2012): As long as you stay in contact with this woman, she will know how to hurt you.
The best revenge is living well. Live well, away from her and the drama she enjoys.
Being cruel, or trying to be cruel, makes you a toxic person.
She is toxic. Do you wish to be toxic as well? Is that a healthy choice?
Obviously that is not a healthy choice.
Aging is inevitable. Maturing is not. Her actions reveal her for who she is. Yours will as well.
Do not message her again, other than to tell her that you have decided to cut all contact. Then do so.
Don't look back.
Look forward.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (1 October 2012):
 how about a third option... call her and cancel and tell her that you no longer wish her to contact you... then do it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2012): I'd say stop acting like teenagers.
Tell her that you and her are through then move on with your life.. I mean what's the point?.
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