A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I recently broke up with someone I really like and we had been together for 2.5 years. He is my first. I cannot get my mind off of him. Everytime I see him, I have my hopes up again, but when he left, my hopes are gone. I really tried not to see him or call him because everytime I see him or hear his voice, my pain really aches. I asked him a few times if we would ever have a second chance. But he told me that he only wants to focus in school right now. I took that as a "No".Now I really want to move on, but I can’t think of any way to do that. I'm a very shy, quiet, and nonsociable person. I don't have many friends. I figure I can't call them all the time because they have their own life. I don't know what to do for forget about him. I can't be like other people, going to parties, meeting new people, because obviously, I have no people connection or social network whatsoever. Plus, I do not like the crowd. Some people told me to learn some sports, but I don't like sport. I have weak physical stamina and chronic backache (sounds like an old person, but I'm only 21). It’s just that I have been sick a lot ever since I was young. I really need help on what to do. I need to distract myself from being upset and depressed over him. Deep down, I really wanted him back, but I know that he doesn't want to get back with me anymore. I didn’t accept this, but now I have to.I know I have a long way to go, I will meet someone else. But in the meantime, missing him is hurting me really badly.Please help me.
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male
reader, Prophet7 +, writes (16 May 2009):
First I would like to say I know how you feel. I just split from my love of 4 years and it was tough but I am better than fine now. It took a few months of tears and reflecting on the good the bad and why we parted and it all made sense why we are no longer a pair. I had to get back in the gym and started back eating healthy. I don't hang with many people because I'm different than most and few people understand my outlook on life so I understand your position with few friends. Hang out with them. Go out with them and learn to socialize. How can you learn if you don't try? I don't like clubs or crowds either but I love people. I started going out with my friends to hang in a public setting and learned how to socialize resulting in me meeting a few more people who understood me. You feel bad right now because he was the person you spent the majority of your time with. I'm sure your friends love you and don't want to see you hurting. Hang with them and it will help get your mind off him. You need to mourn the relationship because it's over. I'm not trying to hurt you by saying this but it is and you must realize it. It happens in steps.
1. Denial
2. Sadness
3. Anger
4. Acceptance(I will be fine)
Some will say there are more steps but I don't care, these are the only ones that matter because they cover all bases. You need to go through the steps to get over him and move on. Cry and think of old memories. Think of him when the relationship was good and think of how he treated you at the end of the relationship and after. He is not returning your love, you have no choice but to move on. Love yourself enough to get up and live, you don't need his love or any mans love to feel good about yourself when you have the love of God. You must love yourself and be confident. Confidence attracts people. Stop contacting him and begin the healing process, you can't start if you keep talking to him or texting. Vent by talking to others because it helps in the healing. When you stop contact he may have a change of heart but be careful if you take him back. Feel free to contact me if that happens. Hope my advice helps you. God Bless... Prophet7
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2009): I otherstarfish, you recently-broke-up-with-someone. (sorry old joke based on your intro)
OK firstly Hug, its tuff and going to hurt, for a while. (now you are prepared yes?)
next thing see this post - its got most of my advice on how to get over someone:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-do-i-move-on-after-breaking-up.html
it works - i believe - you just have to follow it...
Next thing...
what are you into? what things do you like? do you like reading? do you like shopping? what do you have as a hobby?
these are the areas to enlarge first as a social circle. As well getting whatever friends you have to drag you out.
Star.x.
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