A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been friends with this girl for the longest time- we've been through every situation possible and I love her to death. A few years ago, I told her that i was really starting to like this boy. She looked shocked and a bit mad, but said she was fine. Now, me and the boy i liked were like best friends, he told me everything and we were always with each other (he knew I liked him a lot, and he liked me too- but we didn't want to risk anything so we never talked about it). So, a week or two later, the boy told me that my friend asked him out; he said he felt bad for her so he was going to give it a try. This had me completely shattered, but he seemed interested so i wasn't going to get involved, even though my feelings for him were growing stronger. Me and the girl remained friends because i wanted to be a good friend no matter how bad it hurt me.While they went out, the boy would still call me everyday and we would take walks and play xbox, this got my friend really jealous but that wasn't my purpose. In a way, it felt good to get her back for what she did to me, and there were thousands of rumors about how we were 'getting together', but they were all wrong.Eventually, he began to tell me how much he loved me and wanted to be with me, and i believed him. He broke up with my friend for me and now we're still together after one year and three months.But, one night i was with my friend (before they broke up) and the boy i liked/her boyfriend at the time walked by us and called her across the street. They left me there with his friend and he just walked away with her, while i was still on the step.. just waiting. All of this was during the period of time when he began to tell me how he really felt, which is why it completely broke my heart. I knew from that day that i would never look at him the same. This still pops up in my head every time i look at him or her. He tells me that he loves me and we'll be together forever, but i don't know how i could ever believe him when at one point he hurt me more than I've ever been hurt in my entire life.He gets really angry when i bring this up, so i have no choice but to keep it to myself. This is still so hard!What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2009): "How can I believe he loves me when he hurt me so badly?"I gotta wonder if he was showing his old behavior after he apologized.... or if he was still seeing her afterwards. You must have been seeing something that hit you wrong.Cause if he was truly devoted to you. You would not have questioned him. (unless he lavished it on to the point where it was fake, then he dwindled the attention when he felt he had you under his thumb) I would say move on. You are young there is still time to meet the right one. Run!
A
male
reader, Prophet7 +, writes (16 May 2009):
If you are going to be with him you have to either forgive him or let him go and save your friendship. Some people say they forgive for things done by their loved one but seem to always bring it up when things get heated. True forgiveness is one of the hardest things a human can do because true forgiveness means you have to love the person unconditionally. People mess up sometimes it doesn't define who they are, what they do after the mess up is what matters. You guys are really young but if your female friend knew you cared for your male best friend she would have not asked him out. He knew you guys had agreed on not seeing each other so he probably thought it would be o.k. to go out with the other girl. You need to keep an eye on your female friend because I feel she is not a good friend to you. In the end you got what you wanted he is you bf now and has been for over a year. Have fun with him you guys are too young for all the drama relationships bring. Concentrate on school. Relationships can be difficult so ask for advice from some older wise people who have been in longterm relationships, they will have a wealth of knowledge to give you. Hope my advice helps.God Bless... Prophet7
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