A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:we split up nearly 18 months ago after being together for over 2 years and being engaged.we split as he dumped me and he wanted space didnt know what he wanted his head wasnt clear - he lost about 3 stone in weight and everytime i saw him he broke down in tears. we didnt keep in touch (i gave him the space he asked for) and just saw him randomly in the high street3 months after the split i saw him outside his work and he straight away broke down telling me he still thinks of me everyday and he honestly thought i was the one. he then wanted to try again and i said we will meet up and talk not here in the week, he said ok ill text u. two days later i got a text saying i cant get back into a relationship my heads not clear dont want to put u thru what i have done already. hope u understand. 9 months ago (8 months after we split) i saw him in the pub and he told me i bumped into him and He told me he still thinks of me everyday, still has everything I have given him, has photos on his camera that he hasn’t got developed yet, any car the same as mine he looks for me, any small blonde he thinks its me, any song, still thinks of me when what would of been our wedding song is played, he still thinks of me calling Charlie when he sees on the same (charlie is a dog ) he still has all my phone numbers, asked me if I still nicked all the bed covers and said I was like sleeping beauty - he kept saying its all good all good and im not lying afterwards. And at the time I thought it was for the best.and its normal to b like this.I saw him In december in the high street with my mum 2 months on from him saying all this and he got all emotional with me, hugged me tight and kissed me on the cheek as he left meFebruary he spoke to my male friend , told him i just had a operation he shook his head and his eyes watered. My ex told him this is the hardest thing he has ever done and that i am an amazing girl.Saw him getting into his car in March and he stood and watched me driving up the road , i hooted him and he waved as i passed he then was watching me as i drove past ( i would of stopped but had cars behind me)Just recently( beg july) I have seen him drive pass my road after work (never comes down the road) even thou he doesnt need to come this way , the novelty boxing gloves I bought him when we was together is in the new car, as well as a tax disc holder I bought him. he drove past me whilst I was parked up I hooted my horn he stuck his hand out the window gave me a big wave and hooted his horn. the following day I saw him drivin behind me in the distance no cars between us I stuck my hand out the window and he sped up to catch me up he hooted then I hooted he hooted again I went down my road and he continued his journey I text him to say like the new motor ;-) and within minutes I got a reply -(which I was suprised at) all it said is, yeah its ok thanks. still a old one thou. hope your well. I havent had a proper conversation with his since last october 8 months after being apart. we are now apart 18 months and only seen his actions , I am confused.what do you think?
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broke up, engaged, my ex, split up, text, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Omegahero09  +, writes (17 August 2009):
 Hmmm that would be the big hill everyone must climb at the end of a terrible situation. Back in the day when I dated this one young lady, I learned that everything about her was a lie after we were over. Broke up with me over a text, found out she had cheated on me twice with men 8 years+ older than she was and had even had an abortion behind my back. I learned that I had fell deeply in love for a person who wasn't real. Sooo it was tough seeing her day to day, knowing I could never have what I had, and coming to grips with reality was hard. I was so defeated that I felt incredibly bitter and depressed for a long time. But what all my friends encouraged me to do was to keep walking. Keep going. Even if your heart still trembles and leaps for him you need to keep going, if you feel that it's right. And don't forget to look forwards to the next best thing. To a guy, who won't falter under you. A guy who you can count on to be strong and be a man and support you no matter what. Keep what you want and look forwards to in mind and you'll be ok. Distract yourself, go out with your friends, go check out other guys, it's exciting to be single and 'out there.' So go to it, and always seek the counsel of your friends, and you'll be just fine.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhis love for me was deep and strong, ppl that saw us could tell we was in love. when he looked at me his eyes lite up, dilated and sparkled.
i do still love him. i think of him everyday, but i do need to move on,
my problem is if anyone tells me they have seen him (even thou i tell them not to) or he is in a photo i c on facebook ( i have blocked him, and his friends that i knew off) i get a kinda sick anxiety feeling in me. sometimes i am sick. my heart beats fast and my stomach tightens. how do i get past that?
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A
male
reader, Omegahero09 +, writes (13 August 2009):
Love, especially if it is strong and deep, can last an incredibly long time. If it is 'true love' then it will never fade.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your answers.
i need to move on, just dont know how to. we have no contact since the one i sent the other day saying about the motor.
he sped up to catch me up whilst driving down the road and hooted.
u say he still loves me cos he got emotional when my operation was mentioned. yet that was in february we r now in august, can love fade that quick?
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A
female
reader, purple_butterfly  +, writes (11 August 2009):
To be in a relationship, both the guy and the girl should be willing to be with each other and be sure of what they want. This guy sounds to me like he might be loving you, but he is so depressed or scared , thats why he doesnt want to be in the relationship. You tried and even said youd meet up with him but he texted you and refused to be able to get into a relationship.
See hun, you did not dump him.he did. It is obvious that he dint need you in his life. May be he realized later that he loves you but y didnt he take the initiative then? I am very sure that he could have tried or done something to get back with you if he wanted to.His actions are pretty meaningless. he wants you to know that youre important and he cannot forget you. but whats the use of all that when he doesnt want you in his life? being a girl i can tell, id feel really vulnerable when especially sumone we loved , dumped us first of all and then instead of taking us back, theyd keep dropping weird hints.
If I were you, Id never take the initiate to even talk to him and really try to move on. But if this is affecting you bad and you cannot move on, just go and ask him. It wouldnt hurt to tlak.But personally Id just suggest you to move on. Its better to move on and date people who wanna be with you than wait or take hints from people who have dumped you and love you but still dont have the guts to ask you out again.
I am sorry if i said anything wrong
but i really hope this helps
take care..
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A
female
reader, Love is all you need +, writes (11 August 2009):
 he probably still loves u but needed some space, maybe u gave him too much and he thought you'd gone off him. And he wants to be together but then thinks no cuse u gone off him and yeah u havent but he doesn't know that. next time why don't u start and keep going with conversation.
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A
male
reader, Omegahero09 +, writes (11 August 2009):
Hmm. I feel I can relate to him because I would be the same way. I have... a sort of worry complex that developed over a terrible relationship (long story for another time) that has made trouble for myself. I would take a stab and say that he still loves you. I can't speak for why his head is the way it is but obviously HE is thinking something bad too much. When guys feel pain and whatnot, in my experience 99% of the time it's because he is doing it to himself. Whether it's blowing something out of proportion, or focusing on one thing too much, he is thinking too much. If you still love this bloke, try and meet for a casual lunch. Try to figure out why he felt like he had to break up and get to the bottom of it. Hopefully, he is just too worried he might lose you or something like that. Strange I know, but ten bucks says it's something silly like that. He loves you, we know this because when the operation was mentioned he cried. He has feelings, he wants you. Question is, do you want him? Do you love him enough to take him into your arms and hold him to you and tell him it's okay, and accept him? Get to the bottom of it, and follow your heart, no matter what.
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