A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is great we get along great but he's a heavy drinker (not an alcoholic). We've been dating for 7 months. He's a forgetful person, even more so when he drinks. He really lets lose and has fun when he's drunk but sometimes does things that make me feel uncomfortable. We're in a gay relationship but he kisses boys and girls, he never owns up directly after it happens, but will creep it into conversation a few weeks later. Like he'll say "oh I kissed this girl to get rid of a guy that was hitting on her". I have no doubt he's gay but I do think it makes me paranoid when he's kissed a boy once to, then we were in an open relationship. He's adamant it means nothing to him and its just in the moment and being silly but it makes me feel distrustful and paranoid. His friends are all heavy drinkers and it seems its all just a laugh, but I get paranoid they will cover his tracks if he makes a mistake. He says he loves me but I don't quite understand why he needs to do stuff like this, am I being difficult?
View related questions:
alcoholic, drunk Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2009): I think if I were in your position I would start making out with some guys to see if it bothers him, as much as it bothers you when he does it. Maybe he needs a taste of his own medicine for a change. Talk to him about it, ask if he's serious about the rel-ship, and if so why not stop making-out with people. Ask him if he can drink less than he usually drinks, just to where he's in controle of his actions. He doesn't get hammered so how does he find a way to making-out with people. How can he forget that he's in a rel-ship? Idk I would really evaluate your rel-ship. This is the point where you need to choose, is it ment to be or is it not, there can be a great guy around the corner that would respect you and not make such lame disitions!!!
A
female
reader, purple_butterfly  +, writes (11 August 2009):
If I were in your place, I'd feel paranoid and disturbed too. I am very sure that you love him a lot as after all this, youre asking us if you were being difficult? The answer is NO. youre not being difficult at all, youre just being concerned about the guy you love and about your relationship.
There are different ways and timings to talk to different people. Plan on something special just for you and him with no drinks and then initiate the conversation about him kissin other boys and girls. when you plan a spcial thing for him, he'd know how much u care and are concerned abt this.
Tell him that it makes you feel uncomfortable and paranoid. and that if something could be done about that?
If he says he wouldnt do it again, give him a chance. ask him to not drink so much that he loses all his senses. everyone deserves a chance.
If it happens again and again, you might wanna weigh out the pros and cons. Because in the end, your and your boyfriends happiness is what really matters.
I hope things work out best for both of you...
take care and goodluck
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (11 August 2009):
 What makes you think he's not alcoholic? If his behavior changes when he drinks then he may very well be one. What does he say is the reason he drinks so heavily?
...............................
A
female
reader, heartbroken . x +, writes (11 August 2009):
Just ask him why he does it ? Is there something you could do? Because thats not right . If hes your boyfriend hes yours . Hes sort of cheating on you
Hope it helps
Good luck Lots of love
Heartbroken.x
...............................
A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (11 August 2009):
 i dont think your being difficult, it seems like he loses control of his behaviour when he is drunk. you have to think about how this affects your self esteem. if he he cant stop kissing random people when drunk what else is he doing that he's not that aware of (or is)?
...............................
|
