A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I have a bit of a problem... 2 weeks ago me and my boyfriend broke up :( we broke up because he is going to work away soon and I wouldn't see him for upto a month or two at a time or even be able to talk to him because he won't have any phone reception or email or anything like that. So we thought the best thing to do would be break up... But now I've just been getting worse and worse and my boyfriend still says he wants to be friends and he even kissed me goodbye the next time I saw him after the break up and says love you still. I know that the reason we broke up is because of his work but now I think it was the wrong decision... I told him that this was all wrong and stuff a few days ago and he said he didn't want to be in a realationship because he has too much shit on his plate right now but he still loves me? I really wanna try the long distance thing but he doesn't want to incase it won't work out. He also got jelous when he found out that me and an ex flame were now friends on fb, is that ment to be a sign or? He also goes on hildays in a week, so I haven't seen him for 2 weeks he leaves in a week and will be back a week and a half later, I've been wanting to see him because I'm so confused and gutted with this hole situation :( but he won't come around (he has heaps of work on at the moment but may there be a reason he is avoiding comeing around?) When we broke up he cried and stuff and it was really upsetting. I believe he loves me and he said he didn't want to tie me down in a relationship when he won't be around much. But I'm so comitted to him. I just want to know other peoples view in the situation or if someones been there? It just seems that 2 people love each other but the situation there in is so hard... Thanks guys
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (13 May 2010):
 And q is patient but not necessarily kind.
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (13 May 2010):
 It's very hard, and you want to keep him as you boyfriend - indeed, it sounds as if HE wants to keep YOU as his girlfriend - but if he is going to have no internet access and no phone reception where he will be working, makes communication extremely difficult. What about ordinary US postal mail? If you write him a letter, will he be able to receive it and respond? Granted, depending on where he is going to be it may take a while.One suggestion: think about men and women in the armed forces, such as the Navy. For instance, I was chatting with a young woman on the Metro just this week and she works for NOAAH which means she can be at sea for months at a time, with very little (or sometimes no) internet service.What do people do in situations like this? Well, mail will get to them eventually, and they do get shore leave from time to time. Those who really have a good loving relationship manage somehow........How long will your boyfriend be working away? Is it a question of a several months assignment, or indefinite?It's a shame he is not willing to see you before he leaves. It does sound like a combination of him having a whole lot to prepare for, as well as being very upset at not being able to keep in touch. I think all you can do is to reassure him again that you love him and will miss him and look forward to seeing him again when he's home. No way you can force him to change his mind about seeing you before he goes, unfortunately.Then, once he has left, you stay busy with other activities and friends (and let him know your old flame on Facebook is just that: and OLD - i.e., ex-bf now just a friend) and try not to worry any more than you must. In time you'll be able to determine whether you are able to "wait it out" until he comes back home, or, on the other hand, whether it's just all too stressful.........wish I could be of more help!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (13 May 2010):
 If you love him,let him go and if he comes back to you he is yours.
What you are going through is a period of uncertainty .If your love is strong, distance does not matter.
Love is patient and kind.
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