A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend broke up about a week and a half ago. He had told me every day how much he loved me and how much I meant to him. However, the night before we broke up, he was acting really distant. After asking him to be nicer to me, he suggested spending some time apart so he can have time to himself. He said we could remain friends and hang out during the time, but has made no effort to do so. I told him I wanted to be single and he said that was fine and if he felt like he needed to work to get me back he would. I talked to him once to tell him I'm here for him if he needs me, he of course has not contacted me. I miss him more than I can even put into words. Going out only makes me miss him more, and when I talked to him he also said that he doesn't know if his feelings have changed because he doesn't know anything right now. He said he needed time. I've been with someone else already and I'm trying to move on but it just isn't the same. I'm honestly depressed and I don't know if he will ever come back to me. I keep telling myself that if what we had was real, he will want me back. But I almost feel like maybe he really wants to be apart for good and won't tell me that his feelings have changed because he doesn't want to hurt me more. I can't eat or go two minutes without thinking about it, trying to make up reasons in my mind why this is happening. Is there any advice someone could give me or has anyone else been in this situation?
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female
reader, feelion  +, writes (17 July 2009):
 Firstly dating is supposed to be fun. If you were at the point where you were unhappy, then something has to change. I imagine all the good times are spiralling round your head, but remember there are also the bad ones that have led to you feeling this way. Right now you need to focus on yourself, and no matter how he is feeling, beating yourself up, or pursuing him for answers will only frustrate the situation further. I know it's hard to do, but try and go out, have some fun, and give both of you some space. At the moment I imagine this is the first thing you think of in the morning, and before you go to sleep, but with each day it WILL get easier, and in time, you'll find that you are actually having fun.Something I do when I’m struggling like this is see how I’m feeling on a scale of 1 – 10. Then I try and do something to improve my mood and re rate it. I often find the curling up in a ball technique only lowers my number. But sometimes even a shower or a cup of tea can make the wonders of good. Take care of yourself
A
male
reader, Jason32477  +, writes (17 July 2009):
 If he cared for you as much as you want him too you would have gotten back together by now.Do what ever you can to put him out of your mind.You have already been trying and have done the things I would suggest.The only thing left to do is give it time , and back away from him completely.Having him in your life will make it next to impossible to forget him as it will be a constant reminder to what you had and still feel.Do whatever you can not to think about him.When you think of him focus you mind on something else.Generally something you feel strongly about.If you do get back with him odds are he will leave you again.Save yourself that heart ache. You have already traveled the road of separation this far.Don`t go back and have to start over.
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A
female
reader, KiaGrace +, writes (17 July 2009):
 You've been broke up for a week and a half, and you've already been with someone else? Well that's a great way to show him you still want to be with him.
Anyways, moving on.. if he needs time then give him his space. Don't contact him, don't ask to see him. I know that can be very hard, but it's for the better. If you don't make the first move, he may start to miss you and then try to contact YOU. Don't chase him.
If it's over then it's over. These things happen, all good things must come to an end. This doesn't mean that what you guys had wasn't real, it just means his feelings have changed, it's a hard thing but there are ways to deal with it.
First of all, don't let yourself become depressed. When did we start to let guys dictate our happiness? We shouldn't.
Each day it will get easier, I know it doesn't seem that way but think about your previous relationships you've had - and how you don't even think about them anymore.
Surround yourself with supportive friends and family that will get you through it. Treat yourself to something you've always wanted. Dye your hair or cut it. Leave all the memories behind you.
Do whatever you need to do to help you get through. Remember that tomorrow the sun will still shine, and the world won't stop turning. Tomorrow is a new day - so by all means, if you need to close these chapter then you must do it, but remember the rest of the pages are still blank - so you can make your future whatever you want it to be.
But don't shut yourself off and become depressed and lonely. It's not worth it - days turn into months, months turn into years.. and thats just too much time not worth wasting.
Good Luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2009): Force yourself to see someone else and when you guys talk tell him you've moved on and seeing someone else. He's obviously not that into you and you want a guy who will always wanna be with you and not request time apart from you. Stay away from him!!! Its not fair that you love him more than he loves you. If he really loved you he wouldnt wanna risk losing you by asking for time apart. FU** him! Show him you've found someone else. This might make him feel bad and when he begs you to get back together DON'T take him back because he might ask you to break up again in the future. Screw him and move on! Its all in your head. Depression is your head, you have to FORCE yourself to forget about him. Yoy can find somebody else just like you found him, he's not the only guy in the world.
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