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female
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*eartbroken1
writes: The short versionI'm confused and need some advice.I'd been wiv my bloke for 9 years, known him for 22 He's 44, I'm 40 (we didn't live together). He lost his workshop (he has another job also that he doesn't like) and changed towards me getting angry at everything I did.After 3 months of arguing and not getting anywhere I wrote him an angry letter telling him I no longer wanted him in my life, hoping to get a reaction so we could talk about what had gone on, but it didn't work, I heard nothing. 2 weeks later I wrote another letter apologising and asked him to meet me. When he came he was still cross now telling me I make a drama out of everything and that he felt claustrophobic. And what does "I don't want to be your boyfriend mean?" He had not said this before!! We said we wanted to be friends and he made contact after 10 days to visit myself and my 13 year old daughter. He came over and the evening was pretty much the same but with no touching. We saw him 4 days after and went to the cinema together and then back to mine for a bar b q. It feels so normal and then so painful when he goes, he seems cold and uninterested then not. I get confused. That day he had a call from a girl and the conversation sounded a bit uncomfortable. He hasn't told me there is anyone else...do I have a right to know, considering we said we would be friends? I feel it would save more hurt if we informed each other when and if we meet someone else. Or maybe this is why he had been behaving angrly.I don't feel I can let go as I keep hoping he'll be back and we can sort things through. Do you think he feels guilty and that's why he visits? Is it too early to be friends> I still have his stuff here. help Heartbroken
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reader, thats1foru +, writes (21 July 2005):
No sweetheart it time to let it go. I think that if you cant take him on the phone with other women, then it to soon to be just friends. Give him all of his things and tell him that until you can get over him that he cant come by or call. Let him know that you will do the call once your heart has completely heal.... Explain to you child what is going on. Let her know that it is okay to talk to him but you dont want too.. Please get over him I know that it is easier said then done because i going through the same thing. But we both will get over them sooner if we dont talk to them or see them with Gods Help. Take care of you and Yours. I'll keep you in my prayers.
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reader, becky05 +, writes (19 July 2005):
" I dont want to be your boyfriend" means just that for starters.
I dont think its healthy for you to remain friends with him if you still have feelings toward him as he has made it obvious you can never be more than friends.
I think you would be wise to break off this relationship.
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