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female
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anonymous
writes: Does anyone believe in casual sex or should it only happen with someone you love and care about? Is sex an expression of love? Or can it just be fun? Reply to this Question
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reader, pops +, writes (19 July 2005):
I agree with Bev's remarks. You can find someone who says they are just interested in having fun, and it may start out that way. However, you need to be careful to see that your lover doesn't change his/her feelings about you during the relationship. People need to be terribly honest to each other when they enter into these kind of relationships, and if you find yourself " falling in love " with your lover, you had better stop, and have a long talk with him/her, and re-evaluate the relationship. Sometimes, the love making can be so much better than what you are experiencing with your main mate , that it is easy to think you would be nuts to give this up. Keep casual sex casual, and, perhaps, short lived, no matter how good it is. Take the things you learn about having sex to your main relationsnips and work on making it better. pops
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reader, becky05 +, writes (19 July 2005):
I suppose it can just be for fun but its much more fun with someone you love and care about.
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (19 July 2005):
 Casual sex can be teriffic fun, but it's essential that both parties involved understand each other, and that they both have the same expectations.
Men and women can (sometimes) approach sex in different lights. Men often see it as fun and pleasurable, along the lines of having a backscratch, whirlpool spa and hot-fudge-sundae all rolled into one.
Women, on the other hand, tend, to be much more selective about who and when they have sex with, and want it to be an expression of - at least - affection, if not love.
The major problem I see with casual sex is the differing expectations, with women usually ending up disappointed because they thought is was (or hoped it was, or wanted it to be) about love and men being caught surprised, because they didn't expect the woman to take it all so seriously.
My opinion is, as long as both people are happy with it being only about superficiality and carnal pleasure, casual sex is great. However, over time, it tends to loose its sheen, especially with women, who tend to develop deeper feelings after sex with someone.
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