A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i broke up with my Boyfriend over a year ago, he was my first serious boyfriend and we were together for just over a year, two weeks after we broke up he started seeing somebody else, they were together up until new year and have recently broke up, during that time i saw him on numerous occasions and we ended up frequently having sex, now that his relationship has ended we see eachother at least once a week, he says he loves me and wants to marry me but because the first time didnt work out we need to make sure the second one does so we have to wait until the timing is perfect? i understand where he is coming from, will we ever be back together or is he just leading me on? I really need to know!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2007): I have now been over his on a few occasions and nothing sexual has happened! How do I know that he isn't using me and he really cares and loves me or does this still not prove anything? shud i just give up on this boy or keep trying? I'm soo in love with him! please help!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2007): thanks for your advice aunty t, i think i knew this all deep down! Its just really hard to act upon it. when i am with him, we get along great! & i do speak to him numerous times a day & he's always so sweet and makes me feel so loved, in my head i think i actually believe were together, your answer has made me realise i cannot carry on like this, thank you for your help!
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A
female
reader, Farris +, writes (10 March 2007):
 Stop sleeping with him and see if he genuinely feels the same way.
It sounds like he's just using you, but there is the chance that he is genuine, and you need to take sex out of the equation.
You should ask him straight out whether he wants to be with you or not. If he says that he doesn't then just leave him alone. I know it's hard when you've been with someone for such a long time, and it's easier to stick with familiarity, but if things are never going to work out between you, you're both better off just moving on.
Good luck and best wishes.
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A
female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (10 March 2007):
 To be honest i think he is leading you on. He had a girlfriend and had you on the side. Honestly i think he just wants you for sex. He didnt wait around long after you broke up to start seeing someone else and during this time he was still seeing you. What does he mean when the timing is perfect? does he mean until he is ready? So why cant he get back with you and work things out. This doesnt have to mean marriage. He is keeping his options open and keeping you hanging on incase he doesnt find anyone else. He cheated on his girlfriend with you so this doesnt say much for his morals. This is going nowhere and you will be the one to get hurt. Find someone else and dump this guy.
Aunty t
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